The Journey of Grieving When Grieving Isn't "Fine"
~Trailhead
Life Lessons~
“We don’t get ‘over’ the deepest pains of life, nor should we. ‘Are you over it?’ is a question that cannot be asked by someone who has been through ‘it’, whatever ‘it’ is. It’s an anxious question, an asking for assurance that cannot be given. During an average lifetime, there are many pains [losses], many grieves to be born. We don’t ‘get over’ them; we learn to live with them, to go on growing and deepening and understanding…”
People generally attempt to deal with a loss with one’s intellect [brain], when it is actually an experience of the heart. A person may analyze and rationalize the loss experience, put a time frame on how long to grieve and escape the experience of a broken heart through engaging in unhelpful short term relieving behaviors. Do you find that you overwork, drink more, over exercise, stare at the television or spend hours glued to a technology screen, overeat or do other things to lessen the pain you feel when reminded of the loss you have experienced? Your heart has been broken, not your mind! The emotions cannot be analyzed and rationalized away, but instead need to be experienced and felt in the unique manner that is you.