TOTAL ORDER ISSUE 103 | Page 35

The Girls Are Alright

By Bernard Griess

Bernard is the writer / guitarist for the hard rock band , Undone He has a been a content creator for Total Order Magzine since its launch 6 years ago . This is his first column for Total Order .
We ’ ve all heard it . We ’ ve all seen it . “ Rock is Dead ”. Gene Simmons keeps
saying it . There ’ s certainly not a whole lot of new rock on the radio these days . The music awards shows have been going out of their way to tell us . While never really embracing the genre , the awards given for rock most often go to non rock and metal artists . And the awarding of such ultimately meaningless accolades likely happens off camera . Do we really even need to get into that debacle over the Grammys and their Eddie Van Halen “ tribute ”? It ’ s hard to argue that Rock is truly dead , at least in the mainstream . Is that a good thing ? I think maybe it is . Rock and Metal started as an underground movement and that ’ s probably when they ’ re at their best . But that ’ s a discussion for another time .
“ Eddie Van Halen here …. telling you … Keep playin ’, man . Gotta keep playin ’. It ’ s the only thing there is- music , man ! Keep playin ’, alright ? I ’ m gonna come lookin ’ for ya if ya don ’ t .”
So what ’ s to blame ? Is it the corporations ? Is it the public ? Is it the creators ? There happen to be just as many theories out there as opinions , and we all know what they say about opinions . There ’ s probably a bit of all these ingredients that make up this stew that is very unfortunate for those of us who are fans and creators to choke down .
One of the things I always contribute to this reality , when talking to friends about music today comparatively with the heyday of rock and metal is something I don ’ t hear a lot of discussion about , and that is the “ death ” of the iconic frontman in rock and metal . If you go back and really pay attention , especially in the mid to late 70s into the 80s , the thing that stood out the most about a majority of that music was that all of the massive bands from those eras had an instantly identifiable voice leading the charge . You didn ’ t need to see the band playing to know who it was . You could hear one note , one phrase and you immediately knew what band was on .
Consider the following list for a moment . Robert Plant , Ozzy Osborne ,
Freddie Mercury , Steve Perry . Bon Scott , Ronnie James Dio , Geddy Lee , Alice Cooper . Paul Stanley , Vince Neil , Dee Snider , Kevin DuBrow . David Lee Roth , Stephen Pearcy , Geoff Tate , Bruce Dickinson . Brian Johnson , Don Dokken , John Bon Jovi , Dave Mustaine . Axl Rose , James Hetfield , Rob Halford , David Coverdale . Jack Russell , Joey Belladonna , Klaus Meine , Sebastian Bach . Joe Elliot , Lemmy Kilminster , Brett Michaels , Sammy Hagar , and Tom Araya .
What do all these cats have in common with one another ? Not a whole lot .
And that ’ s the point . That ’ s over THIRTY examples , off the top of my head and the list goes on and on . They were all in hugely successful rock and metal acts and not one of them really sounds like the other . Sometime after the Grunge explosion gave Rock the kick in the pants it certainly needed at the time , a strange phenomenon happened . After being blessed with the likes of Cobain and Cornell , Staley and Weiland , the identity of many subsequent bands just ... disappeared . Sure , there are a few notable exceptions ( Lajon Witherspoon , Myles Kennedy , Jonathan Davis to name a few ), but rock and metal sort of branched into two frontman types . The warbling , Layne
Staley impersonator , or the growling , screaming Phillip Anselmo impersonator . And I think that everyone sort of sounding the same contributed to people turning back or turning elsewhere . At least in the mainstream , and on radio . The Rock and Roll attitude was embraced and repackaged by other genres , and shunned by the very ones it was intended for .
Now , I know you ’ re probably thinking you ’ re seeing the old guy “ get off my lawn ” tirade , and you may be right to a certain extent about that . But this was a roundabout way to make a point , and that point is this : The women of Rock are coming to our rescue .
“ There ’ s an amazing crop of extremely visionary and talented women
( Continued on page 67 )
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