Tone Report Weekly Issue 103 | Page 27

A s a guitar player, it has been my experience that receiving guitar-themed holiday gifts from non-guitar playing friends and loved ones is typically something of a crapshoot, with the emphasis on "crap." If you've been playing long enough that the people in your life (bless their clueless little hearts) have determined that guitar is your "thing," then it's only a matter of time before you're up to your headstock in guitar neckties, underwear, coffee mugs, and all manner of other sixstring tchotchkes. If you're lucky, you might actually get something relatively useful (that you probably already have), like a strap, tuner, cable, or other boring utility guitar accessory. It is my position that this sad state of holiday gift-giving affairs cannot stand, but to overcome it one must "head it off at the pass," as they used to say in old western films. I encourage our readers to do this by making a list of guitar things they really want, and shamelessly distributing this list to everyone who might be inclined to buy them a gift. Recommend that these lovely and generous humans pool their resources, so that rather than getting you several individual, subpar gifts, they can all pitch in and get you something amazing that you will cherish for the rest of your years. Sure, this maneuver is rather bold and immodest, and if you lack the panache to pull it off properly, you'll run the risk of coming off as an ungrateful, insolent twit, but at least you won't be getting "Co-Ed Naked Guitar" T-shirts for Christmas anymore. For readers who are unsure where to start with their ultimate holiday wish list, I have come up with a few suggestions to get the ball rolling (Mom, are you paying attention to this?). ToneReport.com 27