Timeless October/ November 2022 | Page 20

Encouragement and coping strategies for breast cancer caregivers , partners in the fight
October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month .
I was 13 years old when my grandmother was diagnosed with breast cancer , and it was heartbreaking to watch someone so close to me suffer so deeply . She was a light in every room . Her biscuits were the flakiest morsels of goodness that ever existed ( and I have had biscuits in every southern state ).
A native of the United Kingdom , my grandmother boarded an ocean liner after she met my grandfather during World War II . I have always admired her courage and I try to imagine what it must have been like to leave everyone she knew to start a life on another continent . As she battled cancer , that same spirit of courage and faith was always there .
Cancer is personal to each of us because we each have stories of shining stars in our world who have fought or are fighting this terrible illness . The physical and mental toll is indescribably difficult for those battling cancer , but research shows that social and family supports are paramount in a patient ’ s quality of life . If you are a caregiver , you may feel tremendous pressure to be strong for your loved one and you may even try to hide your emotions , but it is okay to be feel overwhelmed . The emotional impact that cancer has upon caregivers , family members and friends is profound . Cancer is an all-consuming experience for everyone involved and it is important to set reasonable emotional expectations .
Here are some words of encouragement and coping strategies for caregivers and partners in the fight :
• Focus on your feelings . Setting aside time each day to process your feelings is vital . One way to accomplish this is through journaling . Putting pen to paper is an excellent way of forcing yourself to acknowledge how you feel in that moment . As part of the journaling process , it is also helpful to focus on gratitude .
Despite the challenge in front of you and your loved one , looking for good things that are happening
Encouragement and coping strategies for breast cancer caregivers , partners in the fight
outside of the illness is just as important . Journaling is also a time of mindfulness which is a purposeful exercise helping to focus on what is happening around us . This has been proven to lower anxiety and improve health overall .
• Find healthy ways to manage your stress . We all handle stress in different ways but many of us are not purposeful in how we manage stress . Especially in times of great transition and struggle , being prescriptive in stress reduction is key . Make a plan for the week . Go for an evening walk . Spend time in prayer and meditation . Watch a lighthearted movie . Choose activities in which your loved one can participate . Their ability to stay active and manage stress can also be of great clinical impact .
• Avoid isolation . Leaning on social and family support systems is essential . Having
someone to talk with that you trust can make Jay Shehi a tremendous difference . Schedule regular guest columnist social functions or a weekly lunch with a friend .
Beyond family and social circles , there are also support groups where you can speak with other caregivers that are experiencing similar challenges and emotions . While it is natural to feel nervous about expressing your feelings to a group of strangers , there is great value in shared processing of emotions within a group and it is tremendously beneficial .
• Speak with a professional . Whether it is a psychiatrist , social worker or licensed counselor , these individuals have been trained to help individuals navigate through the grief and emotions associated with a loved one ’ s illness . While help is out there , some can find it challenging on where to find help .
Several times a year , I get calls from people who express to me that they don ’ t know how to find the right provider . While there is a different answer for every community , reaching out to your local mental health authority ,
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