By: Gabriel Iglesias
Well readers, we are in luck as I was able to obtain an interview with one of the most “talented” (Yes, he did make me put that in the article). Most of you know him as Titania’s odd love interest, other as the jackass who will not shut up. Without further ado, the butt of many jokes (Yes, I did just make that very cheesy pun), Bottom.
Gabriel: Well Bottom thank you for agreeing to do this interview. To start off I think we should go to to the beginning. Why did you agree to be cast in the play as a character with such a ridiculous name?
Bottom: Your quite welcome Gabriel, and thank you for having me. But I’m afraid I do not understand the question.
Gabriel: Well, it is just that Bottom is a very odd and by most counts weird name.
Bottom: I do not know who your sources are but Shakespeare named that part Bottom because that is my actuall name.
Gabriel: Oh, I’m quite sorry. I did not know.
Bottom: Let’s just move on to the next question.
Gabriel: Right, so can you explain to those of our readers, who have not yet seen the play, how exactly were you turned from a man into an ass.
Bottom: Well the idea is quite simple. Me and my troupe were rehearsing in the woods (I am the best in the group so the troupe is under my leadership), like we always do. When I unintentionally got in the middle of two lovers quarreling. Unfortunately these lovers were fairies so I could not see them. Now when I say I got in the middle, I literally mean the middle. As in Oberon (Fairy king) is far off in one location and Titania (Fairy Queen) was close by but if you were to travel as the crow flies between the two locations you would hit me. So Oberon sent Puck (Mischievous little fairy) to get even with Titania. He decided that it would be very comical if she was to fall in love with a hideous creature. Now me looking as I do (Quite sexy I mean), I would not do for something hideous. So he told Puck to turn my head into an ass. I am just really glad Puck understood what he meant and did turn me head into a giant anus. Back to the story, so I am reciting lines with my troupe and Puck swoops down invisible and poof, I have the head of a donkey.
Gabriel: That’s amazing, but how does that get revenge on Titania?
Bottom: Well, you see. When she fell asleep Puck put a potion on her eyes to make her fall in love with the first thing she sees. And by now my troupe had run off scared by the monstrosity that was my head. So Oberon and Puck made sure I was the first thing she saw and sure enough she fell head over heels for me (Much like all women do when they see me).
Gabriel: Incredible, what happens next?
Bottom: To find that out you will have to see the play.
Gabriel: Wow, that is a fantastic story. Well, thank you Bottom for spending your afternoon talking with us and for that trip into your newest play. I have already seen it, but I think I might just need to go see it again.