Should we be donating our own bodies to the Bank Of England for decorative use in future five pound notes?
The new five-pound note has caused quite the stir amongst Britons in 2016. Vegans, animal rights activists and religious groups have protested against the distribution of the new fiver since discovering that it is made using Tallow – hard fatty substance made from rendered animal fat that is commonly found in soaps and candles. The Bank of England were said to be in talks regarding finding a replacement for Tallow but it has since been revealed that the note will continue to circulate despite various petitons encouraging the release of an animal friendly note. Even Morrissey kicked off about the new fiver;
“If it had been revealed by the Bank of England that the new British Five Pound note contained slices of cat or dog, the country would be in an uproar. But because we have been trained to accept the vicious slaughter of cows, sheep and pigs, the UK media can only make light of the use of tallow in the new British fiver because animal slaughter is thought to be outside of the human grasp and concern. However, whether you care about animals or not, the use of their sliced bodies in the new five pound note evokes a mood and a vibration that displays a gaping hole in human intelligence and in the human race as a compassionate idea. It also tells us that the Bank Of England has no understanding of doing anything in our time that revives the human image from basic savagery. If you feel that the use of animal flesh should not be a moral issue, then you should assert your conviction by donating your own body to the Bank Of England for decorative use in future five pound notes”
There had also been some controversy surrounding the fact that former Prime Minister, Winston Churchill was to be the face of the new five-pound note. Why Winston Churchill? I mean, I would prefer to buy my meal deal without the face of a raging, sadistic, colonialist staring back at me- but that’s just me.
So, we've decided to come up with a few alternatives.
2016.