The Extractor Fan
As told by Mr. Hugh Riches
Jack was very keen on tractors, he lived and breathed them and he bought every magazine he could
find - John Dere, Massey Furguson, he knew all the details. When a tractor fair was held nearby he
just had to go along. He was in his element, there were tractors of all shapes and sizes.
The first tractor that really took his eye was a small red one and he happily climbed up and sat
proudly on the seat, holding the controls. The dealer asked him if he
was interested in buying one, it was only £20,000, but Jack replied that
he didn’t have that sort of money and was just an interested spectator.
The dealer then asked him to leave, which he sadly did.
Jack then found a much
bigger blue tractor on
a different stand and
climbed up to sit on
this one. Once again,
the dealer asked him
if he was interested in buying this
£40,000 model. He replied as before, that he didn’t have
that sort of money and was just looking. The dealer
shooed him away.
This treatment really hurt Jack and he went straight
home, tore up all his tractor magazines and threw them
in the bin. Even the model collection he had painstakenly
built up went the same way and he then went to cheer himself up
in the pub.
When he arrived, the bar was full of smoke (it was before the ban on smoking) and there were smells
of cooking from the kitchen. Jack opened his mouth and sucked in, breathing in all the smoke and
fumes. He then went outside and blew the polution out into the street before going back into the now,
breathable pub. “That’s a nice trick,” the landlord said to him.
“Oh, it’s nothing really,” Jack replied. “I’m an ex-tractor fan.”
Punography
I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
When chemists die, they barium.
A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type O.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A Thesaurus.
What does a clock do when it´s hungry? It goes back four seconds.
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!
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