Thunder Roads Magazine of Oklahoma/Arkansas October 2016 | Page 35

Ratchet and his wife are watching t.v. when a Slim Fast commercial comes on and he being a natural born smart-ass says,
“hey, why don’t we try washing your clothes in Slim Fast and
see if that takes some pounds off”.
Now, Lucy is nobody’s fool, so she did a little midnight magic.
Next morning when Ratchet gets up, has coffee and grabs a
fresh pair of underwear to put on after his shower, he notices
as he pulls from drawer that all this white stuff is puffing up in
the air. “Lucy, why in the hell did you put talcum powder in my
damn underwear?”.
Lucy casually screams out; “It’s not talcum powder, it’s Miracle
Grow”.
Two guys grow up together but after college one moves to NY,
the other to California. Every ten years they agree to meet in
Chicago and play golf.
They finish their round at age 30 and go to lunch. “Where you
wanna’ go?” “Hooters.”
“Why?”
“Well, you know, they got the chicks with the big boobs, and
the tight shorts, cute butts and
smooth tan legs.
“OK.”
Ten years later at 40 they play. “Where you wanna’ go?”
“Hooters.”
“Why?”
“Well, you know, they got cold beer and the big screen TVs and
everybody has a little action on the games.”
“OK.”
Ten years later at 50. “Where you wanna’ go?”
“Hooters.”
“Why?”
“The food is good and there is plenty of parking.”
“OK.”
At 60 - “Where you wanna’ go?”
“Hooters.”
“Why?”
“Wings are half price.”
“OK”
At 70 - “Where you wanna’ go?”
“Hooters.”

“Why?”
“They have 6 handicapped spaces right by the door.”
“OK.”
At 80 - “Where you wanna’ go?”
“Hooters.”
“Why?”
“We’ve never been there before.
“OK.”

Many years ago, after “Rooster” was married, he was
playing golf when he accidentally overturned his golf
cart.
Isabella, a very attractive and keen golfer, who lived in a
villa on the golf course, heard the noise and called out:
“Are you okay, what’s your name?”
“They just call me Rooster, and I’m okay thanks,” he
replied as he pulled himself out of the twisted cart.
“Rooster”, she said, (firm loose breasts undulating beneath her white silky robe) “forget your troubles. Come
to my villa, rest a while and I’ll get my help to get your
cart up later.”
“That’s mighty nice of you,” Rooster answered, “but I
don’t think my wife would like it.”
“Oh, come on now”, Isabella insisted.
She was so very pretty, truly very sexy and very persuasive.
He was weak. “Well okay,” He finally agreed but thought
to himself, “my wife won’t like this.”
After a couple of restorative Bourbon and waters, he
thanked Isabella. “Rooster confessed, “I feel a lot better
now, but I know my wife is going to be really upset. So
I’d best go now.”
“Don’t be silly!” Isabella said with a smile, letting her
silky robe fall open quite a bit. “She won’t know anything. By the way, where is she?” Rooster
replied, “Still under the cart, I guess”.

Thunder Roads Magazine of OK/AR

35