Thunder Roads Magazine of Oklahoma/Arkansas May 2016 | Page 14

When little Tony Soprano returned home from elementary school, in his youth, he told his Dad
he got an F in math.
“Why?” asks the father?
“The teacher asked ‘How much is 2x3’, I said
“6’”, replies Tony. “But that’s right!” says his dad.
“Yeah, but then she asked me “How much is 3x2?’”
“What’s the f***ing difference?” screams the father.
“That’s exactly what I said!”, little Tony yells.
Guts-Is arriving home late, after a night out with
the lads, being met by your wife with a broom, &
having the “Guts” to ask:“Are you still cleaning, or
are you flying somewhere?” Balls-Is coming home
late after a night out with the lads, reeking of perfume w/lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on
the bum and having the “Balls” to say:‘You’re next,
Chubby.’ Both have same end result. Sudden death.
One morning, before he goes out to the fields, the
farmer says to his sweet, albeit ditzy blonde young
wife, “The Artificial Insemination man is coming to
impregnate one of our cows today. I drove a nail
into the two-by-four above the cow’s stall so you
can show him where it is, okay?”
The Artificial Insemination man arrives. Suzy takes
him down the long row of cows until she sees the
nail, and tells him, “This is the one. This one right
here!”
“How did you know this is the cow to be bred?” the
A.I. guys asks curiously to the ditzy cute blonde.
“By the nail over her stall,” Suzy says proudly.
Then the man asks, “What’s the nail for?”
Well, duh, I reckon’ it’s to hang your pants on.”

A few minutes before the church services started,
the congregation was sitting in their pews talking.
Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the
church.
Everyone started screaming and running for the
front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.
Soon the church was empty except for William who
sat calmly in his pew without moving, seemingly
oblivious to the fact that God’s ultimate enemy was
in his presence..
So Satan walked up to William and said, ‘Do you
know who I am?’
William replied, ‘Yep, sure do.’
‘Aren’t you afraid of me?’ Satan asked.
‘Nope, sure ain’t.’ said the calm as a clam William.
‘Don’t you real