Thunder Roads Magazine of Oklahoma/Arkansas July 2014 | Page 24

At breakfast, the husband says to his wife
“What would you do if I won the Lotto?”
“I’d take half of it and leave you” she says!
“Great” he says.
“I won $12 bucks yesterday.
Here’s $6. Stay in touch”.
A guy is watching a film with creepy organ music
on the TV and suddenly yells, “No! No! Don’t enter
that church, you damn fool.”
His wife asks him, “What in the hell are you
watching?”
Husband replies, “Oh, just our wedding video.”
A successful gynecologist decides to fulfill his
life’s dream: give up medical practice and become a
motorcycle mechanic. So he gets out of the medical
business and enrolls at a mechanics’s seminar
with Harley-Davidson. After many weeks of training
comes the final examination: taking apart and then
re-assembling a randomly chosen Harley engine. He
grabs his tools and sets to work, but soon he gets
worried. While he’s still working on the valve covers,
everyone else is already finished. He manages to
put the engine back together, but finishes with
barely enough time left. After the exam, he went
to the instructor to get his critique, half expecting
a failing report. The instructor informed him that of
100 points possible, he had scored 150. The man
looked at the instructor incrediduously, and asked...
“How is that possible?” The instructor replied that
he got 100 points for correctly reassembling the
engine. He got 50 bonus points for doing it all
through the exhaust!

WHY don’t you ever see the headline ‘Psychic
Wins Lottery’
WHY? do people order bacon double
cheeseburgers, large fries, and a Diet Coke.
WHY? do banks leave vault doors open and
then chain the pens to the counters.
WHY? do we leave cars worth thousands of
dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in
the garage.
WHY? do they make hot dogs in packages of
ten and buns in packages of eight.
WHY do they sterilize the needle for lethal
injections?
WHY are they called apartments when they are
all stuck together?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport
the terminal?
A police officer pulled over two nuns riding on a
motorcycle, and said to the rider,”Ma’am, your driving
much too slowly, could you please drive faster?”
The nun says, “Oh- I saw a sign wih the ‘21’ and
assumed the speed limit was 21 mph.” The officer
explained, “No, the speed limit is 80, and you are
on highway 21.” Then the police officer looked at
the passenger to see she was shaking like a leaf.
“Excuse me Sister, but what’s wrong with your
passenger?”
“Oh that’s probably because we just got off
Highway 205.”