Bubba was drunk, having a tough day and wrote
on FB:
My pizza is burnt
My beer is frozen &
My girlfriend is pregnant.
He got an instant reply ---
Damn buddy, seems you can’t take anything out on
time.
--------------------------------------------------------------
After the FB incident, Bubba staggered down to the
local store and while paying the clerk said, ‘Strip
down facing me’. Bubba kinda’ slumped over when
the clerk said “Sir, I was telling you how to process
your debit card’. Bubba quickly got dressed.
--------------------------------------------------------------
I have this friend who always sees the negative;
like ‘Debbie Downer’ on SNL.
I told her that I thought Rhinos were probably from
the prehistoric era and I thought them very majes-
tic. She quickly replied, ‘ Rhinos are just Unicorns
who have let themselves go’.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Everybody wants to change the world, but
nobody wants to change the toilet paper.
--------------------------------------------------------------
What did the pervo frog say? Rubbit Rubbit
--------------------------------------------------------------
I was walking past the mental hospital the other
day, and all the patients were shouting, ‘13...13...
13..’ The fence was too high to see over , but I
saw a little gap in the planks so I looked through to
see what in the hell was going on. Someone quick-
ly poked me in the eye with a blunt stick, then they
all started shouting, ‘14...14...14.’
--------------------------------------------------------------
So Bubba was telling his pal Jethro about all the
crazy stuff going on in his life lately. Jethro wisely
said, ‘ look for a sign that things are going to get
better and they will’. So Bubba’s at the local store
again and he finds this grocery list on the floor,
written in the prettiest handwriting and remembers
what Jethro said and knew if he found this girl, his
life would be perfect. It read:
shit for margaritas
shit to eat with margaritas
--------------------------------------------------------------
WHY? do cats always look at their chit before they
cover it up and WHY? do we always look at ours’
before flushing it down the toilet? Hmmm.
32 Thunder Roads Magazine LA/MS Gulf Coast | November 2018 | www.thunderroadslams.com
A farmer ordered a high-tech milking machine.
Since the equipment arrived when his wife was out
of town, he decided to test it on himself first.
So, he inserted his “manhood” into the equipment,
turned on the switch and everything else was auto-
matic.
Soon, he realized that the equipment provided him
with much more pleasure than his wife did. When
the fun was over, though, he quickly realized that he
couldn’t remove the instrument from his
‘member’.
He read the manual but didn’t find any useful infor-
mation on how to disengage himself. He tried every
button on the instrument, but still without success.
Finally, he decided to call the supplier’s Customer
Service Hot Line with his cell phone
“Hello, I just bought a milking machine from your
company. It works fantastic, but how do I remove it
from the cow’s udder?”
“Oh, don’t worry,” replied the customer service rep,
“The machine will release automatically once it’s
collected two gallons. Have a nice day, now.”
--------------------------------------------------------------
An old man picked up a little pink frog cause’ he’d
never seen a pink frog and it immediately told
him, “Kiss me and I’ll turn into the woman of your
dreams and fulfill all your wishes”. The old man
stuck the pink frog in his pocket. “Hey, aren’t you
going to kiss me?” He replied, “I’m 85 years old, I’d
rather have a talking frog.”
---------------------------------------------------------------
An elderly couple, who were both widowed, had
been going out with each other for a long time.
Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally
time to get married.
Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and
had a long conversation regarding how their mar-
riage might work.
They discussed finances, living arrangements and
so on. Finally, the elderly gentleman decided it was
time to broach the subject of their physical relation-
ship.
‘How do you feel about sex?’ he asked.
‘I would like it infrequently,’ she replied.
The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, ad-
justed his glasses, leaned over towards her and
whispered, ‘Is that one word or two, dear?’
---------------------------------------------------------------
Don’t sweat the petty things, but by all means, do
pet the sweaty things.
If you try to fail & succeed, which have you done?
---------------------------------------------------------------
I don’t have much left on my Bucket List,
my F***et
is literally
a mile
long.
www.thunderroadslams.com but
| November
2018 | List
Thunder
Roads Magazine
LA/MS
Gulf Coast 33