“ Rhino” woke up to go to the toilet in the middle of the night and noticed a confirmed sexual predator living in the neighborhood sneaking through his next door neighbor’ s garden.
Suddenly his neighbor came out from nowhere and smacked him over the head with a shovel, killing him instantly. He then began to dig a grave with the shovel. He went back to bed contemplating what he was going to do about this.
His wife said,“ honey you’ re shaking, what’ s wrong?”
Totally astonished Rhino said‘ You’ ll never believe what I’ ve just seen’ that bastard next door doing ….. he still has my f *** ing shovel”!
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Dezi was outside pulling weeds on a hot summer day when her husband;
Lanny, walked up and asked her what they were having for supper.
Irritated by the thought of him sitting in the air-conditioned house while she labored away on the weeds, Dezi answered,“ I can’ t believe you’ re
asking me about supper right now! Pretend I’ m out of town, go inside and make supper yourself!”
So Lanny went back in the house and fixed himself a big steak, potatoes, garlic bread, and a tall beer.
Dezi walked in just about the time he was finishing up and asked,“ Where’ s my dinner?”“ Wth? I thought you were out of town.” ______________________________________________________
A father told his 3 sons when he sent them to the university.“ I feel it’ s my duty to provide you with the best possible education. You do not owe me anything for that. However, I want you to appreciate it. As a gesture of appreciation, please each put $ 1,000 into my coffin when I die.”
And so it happened. His sons became a doctor, a lawyer and a financial planner, each very successful financially. When their father’ s time had come and they saw their father in the coffin, they remembered his wish.
First, it was the doctor who put ten $ 100 bills onto the chest of the deceased.
Then, came the financial planner, who also placed $ 1,000 there. Finally, it was the heartbroken lawyer’ s turn. He dipped into his pocket, took out his check book, wrote a check for $ 3,000, put it into his father’ s coffin, and took the $ 2,000 cash.
He later went on to become a politician. ________________________________________________
This is the story of the young female student flying in a two seated airplane with just the pilot. He has a heart attack and dies. She, frantic, grabs the mike and calls out a frantic May Day.
“ May Day! May Day! Help me! Help me! The pilot has had a heart attack and is dead and I don’ t know how to fly.
Someone help me! Please help me!”
She then hears a voice on the radio saying:“ This is Air Traffic Control and I have you loud and clear. I will talk you through this and get you back on the ground. I’ ve had a lot of experience with this kind of problem. Now, just take a deep breath, stay calm and everything will be fine! Now give me your height and position.”
She then says:“ I’ m 5’ 4” and I support Brad Pitt for President”“ O. K.” says the voice on the radio, Repeat after me:“ Our Father, Who art in Heaven” www. thunderroadscolorado. com June 2016 Thunder Roads Magazine ® Colorado 33