End of Year Thoughts As We
Leave 2015 Behind....
and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100
years for men to realize that their brain is also important to protect.
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* I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear
your computer history if you die.
* Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument
when you realize you’re wrong.
* I totally take back all those times I put up a fight about taking a
nap when I was younger.
* There is great need for sarcasm emoji’s; the “finger”, the “mooning”, the “bite me”, the “suck this”.........
* How the hell is anyone besides Martha Stewart supposed to
know how to fold a damn fitted sheet?
* Map Quest really needs to start their directions on prompt # 5.
I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my own neighborhood.
Also.....an Avoid This Neighborhood prompt would be greatly appreciated.
* Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how
the person actually died, right?
* Why is it that bad decisions always make for really good stories?
* You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment
at work when you just know that you aren’t going to do anything
productive for the rest of the day.
* Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray?
I don’t want to have to restart my collection...yet again.
* I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know
not to answer when they call.
* I totally disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given
Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Budweiser than
Kay.
* I have a very hard time deciphering that fine line between boredom and real hunger.
* How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just
nod and smile because you still didn’t hear, understand or really
give a damn, about a word they said?
* I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars
team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong,
brothers and sisters....unite!
* Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets stank. Jeans? Jeans seldom get
dirty, and you can wear them all week.
* Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their
car keys in a pocket or finding their cell phone, but I’d bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 2 feet away, in
about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!
* Why is it the older you get, the more the movie “The Borrowers”,
about how little gremlins take or move your “stuff” around, truly
makes so much sense?
* The first testicular guard, the “Cup,” was used in Hockey in 1874
An old lady dies and goes to heaven. She’s chatting
it up with St. Peter at the “Pearly Gates” when all
of a sudden she hears the most awful, blood-curdling screams.
Don’t worry about that,’ says St. Peter, ‘It’s only someone having
the holes drilled into her shoulder blades for the wings.’
The old lady looks a little uncomfortable but carries on with the
conversation. A few minutes later, there are more blood curdling
screams. ‘Oh my,’ says the old lady, ‘now what’s happening?’’ Not
to worry,’ says St. Peter, ‘She’s just having her head drilled to fit
the halo.’
‘I can’t do this,’ says the old lady, ‘I’m going to Hell.’
‘You can’t go to that nasty place,’ says St. Peter.
‘You’ll be raped and taken advantage of.’
‘Maybe so,’ says the old lady, ‘but I’ve already got the holes for that.’
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www.thunderroadscolorado.com
December 2015
Thunder Roads Magazine® Colorado 33