People often complain about the police, but you rarely hear about
the positive things they do, such as this incident involving a biker
and a frozen carburetor.
Last January on a bitterly cold winter’s day, a North Dakota state
trooper on patrol came upon a motorcyclist who was stalled by
the roadside. The biker was swathed in heavy protective clothing
and wearing a full-face helmet to protect the face from the cold
weather.
“What’s the matter? asked the Trooper
“Carburetor’s frozen,” was the terse reply.
“Pee on it. That’ll thaw it out.”
“I can’t,” said the biker. It’s an issue.”
“OK, watch me closely, and I’ll show you.” The trooper unzipped
and promptly warmed the carburetor as promised.
Moments later the bike started, and the rider drove off, waving.
A few days later, the local State Troopers’ office received a note of
thanks from the father of the motorcyclist.
It began: “On behalf of my daughter Jill...”
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The football Coach noticed that his star tackle, “Boner”, had so
many women hanging around that he couldn’t possibly handle all
of them.
So one day he asked Boner “Just what the hell is your secret, kid?”
Boner replies, “Well, Coach, whenever I’m about to have sex,
I always whip it out and bang it on the dresser like a hammer.
That numbs it up, and I can screw ‘em till they beg me to stop!”
The Coach went home early one day and went to the bedroom.
He heard his wife in the shower.
Seeing a window of opportunity, he tore off his clothes and started
bangin’ the hell out of his “wanker” on the dresser.
His wife stuck her head out of the shower and yells out, “That you
Boner, baby?”
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suddenly remembers that it’s his daughter’s birthday. He pulls over
to a Toy Shop and asks the sales person, ‘How much for one of
those Barbie’s in the display window?’ The salesperson answers,
‘Which one do you mean, sir? We have: Work Out Barbie for
$19.95, Shopping Barbie for $19.95, Beach Barbie for $19.95, Disco
Barbie for $19.95, Ballerina Barbie for $19.95, Astronaut Barbie for
$19.95, Skater Barbie for $19.95, and the most popular; Divorced
Barbie for $299.95’.
The amazed father yells: ‘It’s how much?! Why is the Divorced
Barbie $299.95 and the others only $19.95?’
The annoyed salesperson rolls her eyes, sighs, and answers: ‘Sir...,
Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken’s Audi A-8, Ken’s Malibu Beach
house, Ken’s Danzi Z33 Race Boat, Ken’s Designer Furniture, Ken’s
Screamin’-Meanie Platinum Computer, all of Ken’s new Platinum
credit cards, and a custom key chain made with Platinum dipped
dangling Ken’s Balls.
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A Flight Attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check
tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket
and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a
beat....she said,
“Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub.”
What do you do with 365 used condoms?
Melt them down and call it a very Goodyear.
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A biker’s greatest achievement was his brood of six kids. He was
so proud that he continually called his wife: “Mother of Six”, which
pissed her off to no end. But he kept referring to her as “Mother of
Six” no matter where they went.
At end of a poker run, he shouted across the bar, “Hey, “Mother of
Six”, you ready to go home?”
His irritated wife screamed back: “Anytime you’re ready, “Father of Four”!”
One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he
www.thunderroadscolorado.com
November 2015
Thunder Roads Magazine® Colorado 33