A Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson
who is coming to visit with his wife.
“You come to the front door of the apartments. I am in apartment
301 . There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push
button 301. I will buzz you in. Come inside and the elevator is on
the right. Get in, and with your elbow, push 3rd Floor. When you
get out, I’m on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell . OK?”
“Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these
buttons with my elbow? .........
“What . .. . .. .. You’re coming empty handed?”
____________________________________________________
Wise Italian Grandfather
An old Italian man in Brooklyn is dying. He calls his grandson to his
bedside, “ Guido , I wan’ you lissina me. I wan’ you to take-a my
chrome plated ...38 revolver so you will always remember me.”
“But grandpa, I really don’t like guns.. How about you leave me
your Rolex watch instead?”
“You lissina me, boy! Somma day you gonna be runna da business,
you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home and
maybe a couple of bambinos . “
“ Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife
inna bed with another man. “ Whatta you gonna do then? Pointa
to you watch and say, ‘Times up!’ “?
____________________________________________________
Four old Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee
in St. Peters Square.
The first Catholic man tells his friends, “My son is a priest, when
he walks into a room, everyone calls him
‘Father’.”
The second Catholic man chirps, “My son is a Bishop. When he
walks into a room people call him
‘Your Grace’.”
The third Catholic gent says, “My son is a Cardinal. When he
enters a room everyone bows their head and says
‘Your Eminence’.”
The fourth Catholic man says very proudly, “My son is the Pope.
When he walks into a room people call him
‘Your Holiness’.”
Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence,
The four men give her a subtle, “Well....?”
She proudly replies, I have a daughter,
SLIM & TALL
40 D Breasts
24” WAIST and
34” HIPS
When she walks into a room, people say,
“ JESUS”
____________________________________________________
Irish blonde...
An attractive blonde from Cork , Ireland , arrived at the casino .
She seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty thousand dollars
in a single roll of the dice.
She said, “I hope you don’t mind, but I feel much luckier when I’m
completely nude .” with that, she stripped from the neck down,
rolled the dice and with an Irish brogue yelled, “Come on, baby,
Mama needs new clothes!”
As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed.
“Yes! Yes! I won , I won !” She hugged each of the dealers, picked
up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed.
The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded .
Finally, one of them asked, “What did she roll?” The other
answered, “I don’t know - I thought you were watching.”
MORAL OF THE STORY
Not all Irish are drunks, not all blondes are dumb,
.... but all men...are men!
____________________________________________________
www.thunderroadscolorado.com
March 2015
Thunder Roads Magazine® Colorado 33