THRIVING Melanin Family Magazine September 2018 | Page 53

What does this have to do with black men, you
may be asking? Don't we say that women can
do whatever they want with their own bodies?
They can. The thing is, more often than not
these procedures and actions are being done for
the approval and pleasure of men--and that is
something that we can help to change. We as
black men must become leaders  in the fight
against misogyny and abuse--and we can begin
to do that by giving our daughters and mothers
the affirmation that they need. 
The lack of positivity from male figures can
have a detrimental effect on the self image of
young women, with long-lasting effects. Lil Kim
once famously stated in an interview, "All my
life men have told me I wasn’t pretty enough—
even the men I was dating... It’s always been
men putting me down just like my dad. To this
day when someone says I’m cute, I can’t see it. I
don’t see it no matter what anybody says.”
Where was the positive black man in Kim's life
to tell her she was pretty, that she didn't need
to get lighter to be acceptable, that her body
was fine just the way it was?
The internet is full of unfortunate tales of young
black women who are literally dying to have a
big behind. We as men cannot discount our
impact on this thought process. These women
are feeling this way because of what we profess
to like and want. Even the strippers augment
themselves because they are competing for our
attention--although that's more of an
economic decision than a romantic one. 
TAMKEA "TINY" HARRIS
BEFORE
TAMKEA "TINY" HARRIS
AFTER 
SEPTEMBER
2018 • THRIVE | 51
We've seen this before in our black women.
Kimberly Jones, known to the world as the
rapper Lil Kim, has had so much surgery on her
face and body that she is completely
unrecognizable, looking nothing like the woman
that once shared the stage with her beau The
Notorious B.I.G. And singer Tameka "Tiny" Cottle
raised eyebrows when she had augmentation
surgery on her eyes, something so controversial
that it is not legal in the United States.