The Stigma by Treshenna Miller
Everyone knows the stigma of the single parent .
This was something I had to overcome and overcome it I did .
I was in an unhappy relationship and I was scared to leave it . I didn ’ t want to become a single mother . I knew the stereotype . I grew up with married parents so I didn ’ t understand it totally , but I knew I didn ’ t want to become one .
But I did .
After I found out about another relationship , it gave me the strength to leave . I was willing to try to work on it , just being unhappy with the relationship in general , but cheating was a different story . That is one thing I was not willing to overlook .
I was ashamed that I couldn ’ t make it work . I began to work on my life and it was hard . Not just the being single part , but being a mom when I was pretty down with how things were going . It seemed like everywhere I looked , the stigma was there , watching and waiting . Visits to the zoo had families with 2 parents , as well as the Children ’ s Museum . There was no safe place for me . I was constantly focusing on this one missing element .
Slowly but surely I continued on with life . There was no need to wallow around on the floor in embarrassment because of a stigma most everyone was thinking when they saw me with my daughter . I had a very important job to do- live my life and raise the daughter in whom God entrusted to me .
Outside of that relationship , I was always a person who didn ’ t care what other people thought about me . It was time to remember what my name was and bring that person back . I always traveled and I began to take little day trips with her , which led to overnight trips . I did everything I had imagined doing when we were a 3 person family , alone , as a 2 person family . It was scary . It felt like everyone was watching and judging me ... but I kept going .
I refused to let someone ’ s---no society ’ s-- view of me become my story , the beginning and end . My story is not of a downtrodden woman ! My story consists of a confident woman who wavered , might have even stumbled , but did not fall down and lay down waiting to die .
I remembered what my name was , got up and kept going .
12 THRIVE MAGAZINE