Finding Love Again Don ’ t allow the heartbreak you experienced to make you bitter and close your heart and mind to the possibility of true love and happiness . The right person is out there waiting for you to love , but you must be open to receiving it and leaving the baggage of your past relationship behind . This new love can change not only your life , but the life of your child / children . Remember a father figure does not always have to be the biological parent . If you have a good man in your life , he can act as a surrogate or completely take on the role of father , depending on the situation . So , open your heart ..
We all have heard the statistic about children of “ single family ” households ; they are less successful , more prone to criminal behavior , and emotionally needy . This does not have to be your child / children ’ s reality .
Work on amicability In some cases , you need to learn to forgive , exhibit patience , and humble ourselves for the betterment of the whole . Take the time to have a heart to heart conversation with the other parent to discuss regular visitations and work out an agreement for special occasions like birthdays and Christmas . Granted it may not work out the way you want it , but at the end of it all , you can say that you tried .
Speak with Love Do not talk negatively about the absent parent to the child . Practice what your parents told you as a child , “ if you don ’ t have anything good to say don ’ t say anything at all .” Keep your conversations as natural as possible . Your child should not have to split the allegiance and love between both parents and feel like they are betraying the other parent when the other is not around . The fact that the parents are no longer in love should not negatively affect the child / children because you cannot control your tongue and emotions .
Seek Out a Professional If both parents just can ’ t work through their issues on their own , it is time to call in the professionals . If you are a church goer and you trust your pastor ’ s wisdom , then you should contact him / her for spiritual counseling . If the church is not your thing , you have other options as well . You can hire a mediator or go to family counseling . You owe it to yourself and your kid ( s ) to do what ’ s necessary to create happiness in their eyes .
Family / Friends / Community In some cases , none of the above are applicable because the other parent is deceased or incarcerated . In this case , you can seek out the assistance of a family member , friend , church brother , or community organization to act as a surrogate parent / male role model the child / children need .
Staying true to your role as a parent and not allowing the hype , naysayer , and your emotions to get in the way can aid in helping you achieve a fulfilled life for your children and yourself . Remember , your circumstances don ’ t define you , you define your circumstances . It ’ s all about the child / children .
THRIVE MAGAZINE 7