Finding Balance by Tracy V . Allen
When most women become parents , they have no idea that they are going to fall in the category of “ single parent ,” a term that I am vehemently oppose . I ’ m sure that most women would rather not be labeled . They would probably prefer to be referred to as mom , parent , or primary parent . The term “ single parent ” carries with it a lot of baggage and has a negative connotation . It ’ s hard enough being a good parent without having additional stigmas being attached to your parenting skills . The responsibilities are the same whether you are a part of a traditional or nontraditional multi-parent household . The only difference is that in a multi-parent household the responsibilities are supposed to be shared amongst each parent equally , and we know this does not happen in many cases .
As a primary parent , the day-to-day issues you deal with are not unlike those of any multi-parent household . The difference is that you are the one responsible for making sure that all of your child / children ’ s needs are met . This responsibility can cause an immense amount of stress , which can lead to debilitating impostor syndromes . Some of the symptoms of this syndrome are questioning your ability to parent effectively , comparing yourself to other parents of multi-parent households or comparing your children to theirs . This will create an unhealthy atmosphere for your children and yourself .
Understand that you cannot suppress , deflect , or lay blame to your duties and responsibilities to the little people you have been tasked to parent alone or with a part-time or absentee parent . You have a responsibility to make sure that they become productive , empowered , educated , proactive , and well-adjusted members of society . You cannot allow societal thoughts and emotions about “ single parents ” and their households , to continue to color in the picture of your reality . There are a few strategies that will allow you to reclaim your paintbrush , create the lifestyle you desire , the children you want , quail misconceptions , and thrive .
Lifestyle Construction
Being the primary parent should not deter you from working toward and achieving your goals . Actually , you should use it as a motivator . Show your child / children that your circumstances do not determine your success . Teach them that hard work , consistency , and a positive mentality is a winning formula for achieving your dreams .
Start the business you ’ ve always dreamed of having , earn the degree you couldn ’ t , actively pursue the job you ’ ve always wanted . You should take lots of weekend trips and travel in and outside the United States . You are probably thinking this all sounds great , but I cannot do these things and take care of my family by myself . .
You can ! There is a plethora of resources available to people of all income levels and age groups to help you achieve your dreams . Do some research and start implementation towards success . Your child / children are watching . You are and should be there their first role model .
6 THRIVE MAGAZINE