Finding Balance by Tracy V. Allen
When most women become parents, they have no idea that they are going to fall in the category of“ single parent,” a term that I am vehemently oppose. I’ m sure that most women would rather not be labeled. They would probably prefer to be referred to as mom, parent, or primary parent. The term“ single parent” carries with it a lot of baggage and has a negative connotation. It’ s hard enough being a good parent without having additional stigmas being attached to your parenting skills. The responsibilities are the same whether you are a part of a traditional or nontraditional multi-parent household. The only difference is that in a multi-parent household the responsibilities are supposed to be shared amongst each parent equally, and we know this does not happen in many cases.
As a primary parent, the day-to-day issues you deal with are not unlike those of any multi-parent household. The difference is that you are the one responsible for making sure that all of your child / children’ s needs are met. This responsibility can cause an immense amount of stress, which can lead to debilitating impostor syndromes. Some of the symptoms of this syndrome are questioning your ability to parent effectively, comparing yourself to other parents of multi-parent households or comparing your children to theirs. This will create an unhealthy atmosphere for your children and yourself.
Understand that you cannot suppress, deflect, or lay blame to your duties and responsibilities to the little people you have been tasked to parent alone or with a part-time or absentee parent. You have a responsibility to make sure that they become productive, empowered, educated, proactive, and well-adjusted members of society. You cannot allow societal thoughts and emotions about“ single parents” and their households, to continue to color in the picture of your reality. There are a few strategies that will allow you to reclaim your paintbrush, create the lifestyle you desire, the children you want, quail misconceptions, and thrive.
Lifestyle Construction
Being the primary parent should not deter you from working toward and achieving your goals. Actually, you should use it as a motivator. Show your child / children that your circumstances do not determine your success. Teach them that hard work, consistency, and a positive mentality is a winning formula for achieving your dreams.
Start the business you’ ve always dreamed of having, earn the degree you couldn’ t, actively pursue the job you’ ve always wanted. You should take lots of weekend trips and travel in and outside the United States. You are probably thinking this all sounds great, but I cannot do these things and take care of my family by myself..
You can! There is a plethora of resources available to people of all income levels and age groups to help you achieve your dreams. Do some research and start implementation towards success. Your child / children are watching. You are and should be there their first role model.
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