“ When are you going to stop running and Stand for a change?” by Tiffany Denise Wilson aka Saloma
This is when I knew he was the real deal.
My life hasn’ t been a fairy tale but one ridden with feelings of rejection and abandonment and guilt and because of that I have perpetuated a cycle. Prior to meeting my husband I had been praying that The Most High would bless me with a husband.
I had changed my mindset, I had got busy loving me and my little one. I was also abstinent. Sadly enough not long after my decision to become abstinent I was raped. I was broken. I couldn’ t believe I put myself in a situation for this to happen. But the truth is I could have been anywhere and it could have happened. The decision to rape someone is the rapist decision alone but I took the blame.
I asked The Most high, why? Why do I keep attracting these men who only want to harm me or possess me?
I began to look over my life and different patterns and realized it was because I didn’ t set boundaries, that my standards weren’ t as high as they should be. I sought out to change that and decided that I was going to do things differently.
I went on about my life and became comfortable in my single hood. I met my husband in my fellowship where I would go
As a single mother of two sons, it’ s not always easy to focus on myself and my wants. I realize this is the same for many These were the word’ s my new husband said to me after I decided that“ this relationship was not going to work.” Never mind that he did nothing wrong, but it was my insecurities and fears that sent me into flight mode and I wanted out!
I found every excuse in the book. I felt like I was losing my freedom, I felt like he was going to disappoint me like everyone else in my life did. It didn’ t help that I had been raped only 9 months before by someone that I thought I could trust, someone I thought I was building a friendship with. Tears’ rolled down my face.
How did he know? How did he know that all of my life I ran and pushed away anybody who would dare to get close? I let the word’ s sink in and I decided to do just that. Stand! I was not going to continue this cycle. I am not going anywhere.
weekly. There was a baptism one day and the elder and his wife did not have a lot of room in their car and suggested that I ride with this man. I say this man because I did not know who he was at the time. Given my experience I declined and they made room for me in their car.
A week later I locked eyes with this man I never noticed before, but it was something about his eye’ s that drew me that day we had another baptism and we spoke for the first time afterwards at a group dinner. There was something about him, his spirit that drew me.
We began to talk everyday over the phone and two weeks later the church was going on a camping
THRIVE MAGAZINE 7