"I have learned that happiness isn't someth
that you have to find ... I t's something you ha
make yourself."
GEORGIA
CHRISTCHURCH,NEWZEALAND
"I wasn't truly happy for years. I was doing what I
thought was expected of me; graduated
university, had a good job and almost had
enough money in the bank to buy my first house
at 22. However I was also in a toxic relationship
for 4 years that had worn me down so much from
the alcohol, lying and then cheating that I
couldn't even deal with sitting alone for more
than 10 minutes before my thoughts would
consume me. I was a wreck, paranoid, self
conscious, worried and working out more than
you could imagine just to keep myself sane. But I
just couldn't get the confidence to leave him. It's
funny because to everyone else on the outside I
came across as this bright confident bubbly
woman, I was good at putting on a brave face
and just getting on with life. Now that I look
back, I was just completely and utterly in denial. I
still held onto hope that one day all his promises
would be fulfilled and we would be the happy
couple that we used to be.
And then one day it just hit me, I deserved to be
genuinely happy in life and not just pretend day
by day. Yeah I was getting by with my smile on
my face but it all felt so mediocre, and isn't life
meant to be amazing? Isn't the person your with
meant to build you up not bring you down? I
wanted to feel as good on the inside as I acted on
the outside. So one morning, I packed all my
things silently and left my partner and never
looked back. Of course I had the awful break up
period, I had just walked out on someone I still
loved. But he was no good for me and I hated the
person I had become being with him, for once the
little voice in my head was louder than my heart
and I knew I was was doing the right thing.
72 THOSE WHO WANDER
Once I had gotten over the initial breakup
sadness that one endures after 4 years together I
decided to look at other aspects of my life and I
decided I wanted change. I felt like I needed to
press the restart button on life and become me
again. Next thing I know I quit my job and
booked flights to Europe, travelling solo, for 4
months. Since then I have visited 8 different
countries and have met countless of amazing
people along the way. I have learned what I am
capable of and I now know that I am so much
stronger in myself that I ever thought possible.
Its been one of the biggest life lessons I have ever
experienced and I am so so happy I walked out
that door that day and even more so that I got on
that plane.
I've also learned that I don't need a man to define
me. Just because he couldn't treat me right was
no reflection on me and my self worth, it was a
reflection on his character and him. I don't need
someone to validate me as a person or me being
beautiful just because they say so. I've learned to
love my self the way I am and I make my own
happiness instead of trying to find it in someone
else. And it feels amazing.
I return to New Zealand in a month, I'm currently
in Germany riding horses for a job which has
been the dream for many years, and have also
decided to go back to university next to start
building the life I want - instead of the life I
thought was expected of me. I'm finally
genuinely content although there are still ups
and downs, I have learnt that happiness isn't
something that you have to find ... It's something
you have to make yourself."