Those Who Wander Magazine January 2016 | Page 72

"I have learned that happiness isn't someth that you have to find ... I t's something you ha make yourself." GEORGIA CHRISTCHURCH,NEWZEALAND "I wasn't truly happy for years. I was doing what I thought was expected of me; graduated university, had a good job and almost had enough money in the bank to buy my first house at 22. However I was also in a toxic relationship for 4 years that had worn me down so much from the alcohol, lying and then cheating that I couldn't even deal with sitting alone for more than 10 minutes before my thoughts would consume me. I was a wreck, paranoid, self conscious, worried and working out more than you could imagine just to keep myself sane. But I just couldn't get the confidence to leave him. It's funny because to everyone else on the outside I came across as this bright confident bubbly woman, I was good at putting on a brave face and just getting on with life. Now that I look back, I was just completely and utterly in denial. I still held onto hope that one day all his promises would be fulfilled and we would be the happy couple that we used to be. And then one day it just hit me, I deserved to be genuinely happy in life and not just pretend day by day. Yeah I was getting by with my smile on my face but it all felt so mediocre, and isn't life meant to be amazing? Isn't the person your with meant to build you up not bring you down? I wanted to feel as good on the inside as I acted on the outside. So one morning, I packed all my things silently and left my partner and never looked back. Of course I had the awful break up period, I had just walked out on someone I still loved. But he was no good for me and I hated the person I had become being with him, for once the little voice in my head was louder than my heart and I knew I was was doing the right thing. 72 THOSE WHO WANDER Once I had gotten over the initial breakup sadness that one endures after 4 years together I decided to look at other aspects of my life and I decided I wanted change. I felt like I needed to press the restart button on life and become me again. Next thing I know I quit my job and booked flights to Europe, travelling solo, for 4 months. Since then I have visited 8 different countries and have met countless of amazing people along the way. I have learned what I am capable of and I now know that I am so much stronger in myself that I ever thought possible. Its been one of the biggest life lessons I have ever experienced and I am so so happy I walked out that door that day and even more so that I got on that plane. I've also learned that I don't need a man to define me. Just because he couldn't treat me right was no reflection on me and my self worth, it was a reflection on his character and him. I don't need someone to validate me as a person or me being beautiful just because they say so. I've learned to love my self the way I am and I make my own happiness instead of trying to find it in someone else. And it feels amazing. I return to New Zealand in a month, I'm currently in Germany riding horses for a job which has been the dream for many years, and have also decided to go back to university next to start building the life I want - instead of the life I thought was expected of me. I'm finally genuinely content although there are still ups and downs, I have learnt that happiness isn't something that you have to find ... It's something you have to make yourself."