Parlour anecdote #5
(A prostitute and a client are on top of a massage table. The client is athletic-looking. The
prostitute has long, messy blonde hair and wears a black, floral-print corselette dress with a
leather milk-maid belt round her waist. After sex, she looks at the condom and fingers it, wondering why they seem to have broken so easily of late. He is lying on his back and she is on all
fours with her back to him)
HE: It’s strange to hear you speak in an English accent; you look French. Your
voice is very sexy. (He watches her looking at the condom in a mirror mounted to his left.)
God! You even look at a condom intelligently.
SHE: (Smiles.)
HE: Why do you shave your pussy hair?
SHE: All the strippers do, I guess it just looks better and I can’t be bothered fashioning a neat line like some girls do.
HE: I must admit, I’m becoming obsessed with shaven pussies and I don’t know
why.
SHE: It’s probably because they represent innocence and innocence is beautiful.
HE: (Frowns.) I hate it when people analyse everything, you should just accept
things for what they are.
SHE: Sorry but I analyse everything to see if I can accept them for what they are.
I analyse so I know exactly what they are. I write you see and I need to dig to write
about things worth writing about.
HE: Who do you like to read?
SHE: Crane, Steinbeck, Dickens, Bukowski.
HE: (He quotes Bukowski.) ‘Love is a dog from hell.’
SHE: (Smiles.)
HE: I think Bukowski was wrong to reject people in favour of art.
SHE: I don’t. People are bastards.
43