T
he term “Ja-
maican Christ-
mas” sparks
memories of
family gath-
erings, elab-
orate church
services, home
improvement
projects and of course delicious Jamai-
can dishes. However, while some make
plans for returning residents, and others
troll the aisles for early Christmas deals,
there are those who approach this time
of year with dread. For some persons
this time of year is the devastating
reminder of how alone they are, how
dysfunctional their family feels and how
limited their finances may be.
As store ads and television program-
ming parade get-togethers and family
traditions as the center of this festive
season, some people experience in-
creased sadness and despair as they ru-
minate on what is missing in their lives.
Christmas can exacerbate feelings of
loneliness because there are some who
are alone by choice or because of cir-
cumstance.
Christmas can also induce intense feel-
ings of anxiety as individuals compare
their bank accounts to the growing
demands of the season. Persons experi-
ence severe pressure as a result of gift
buying, attending social events, and
home improvement projects. There is
also the anxiety associated with the
chaos of being around estranged family
members, meeting all the expectations
of the season and the crowds associated
with the holidays.
The Christmas season is also marked
by an increase in depression. There is a
“persistent” sadness or “empty” mood,
feelings of hopelessness, pessimism,
guilt, worthlessness and helplessness”
that some will experience. While others
are attending events and decorating
their homes, depressed persons expe-
rience a loss of interest or pleasure in
all activities along with a decrease in
energy.
If you are experiencing any or all of
these feelings there are healthy ways to
address these issues. First, understand
it is normal to feel lonely. Realize that
loneliness results from the need for
connectedness and intimacy.
So develop a plan:
Plan activities that you would enjoy
with friends and others who may also
be alone for the holidays. Attend church
events, museums, go for walks in the
park or host a games night. Perhaps
you could skype a friend or family
member who is overseas that you have
not spoken to in a while.
What if they aren’t available?
No problem. Get out of the house and
do something interesting or different. Be
a tourist and explore your own country
or you may consider taking a solo trip
somewhere you have never been. When
dealing with loneliness it’s important
to note that you don’t need another
person in order to go for walks, or go to
a concert. It’s also important to identify
and isolate the thoughts that occur when
you feel anxious about doing things by
yourself and replace these thoughts with
a more rational reality.
Lower your expectations and find
things to be grateful about. Pace
and prioritize by keeping abreast
of your schedule, and saying no to
some activities. Create space for
rest and downtime.
Know that depression is not a
figment of your imagination. If you
are struggling with intense sadness
and hopelessness seek professional
help. Avoid buying into the stigma
that seeking help makes you weak.
Other ways to combat depression
includes getting into a routine,
setting goals to feel accomplished,
exercising and eating healthy.
You may feel like what you are
struggling with is unique to you but
it’s not. Even the “first Christmas”
gathering had difficulties. There
was a couple far away from their
home and probably estranged from
relatives who would have done the
math on the due date versus wed-
ding date. There were shepherds
who had to go to work, an over-
crowded city and an anxious king.
Yet, the true joy of Christmas was
not overshadowed.
So turn on the tunes, and have a
jolly Jamaican Christmas.
Going out alone is actually a great way
to meet new people. Psychologist Dr.
R.L. Leahy says, “Being alone doesn’t
mean you have to feel lonely. And feel-
ing lonely doesn’t mean that you have
to feel that way indefinitely.” Normal-
izing this feeling will help reduce an
overwhelming sense of pity and it can
put you in the driver’s seat as you make
plans to combat it.
The anxiety of budgeting during this
season can be offset by setting spending
limits for gifts and social gatherings.
Avoid buying into the media representa-
tion of what Christmas should look like.
Give back in time and expertise to char-
ities, family members or neighbours.
Written By: Stacy-Ann Smith M.A
Associate Therapist.
Family Life Ministries
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