L
adies, if you think you are the only ones who suffer
from the perils of the dating game, think again. If you
think the prospects are much better for us, you are
equally mistaken. Speaking as a man in his 40’s, who
is serious about settling down, navigating the field can
be likened to a boot-camp obstacle course, strewn with
explosive land mines. Some may say I am too picky or that my standards
are unreasonable. But are they though? Don’t we all want someone who is
honest, clean, loyal, kind, smart, empathetic, caring, hard-working, and all
the other usual adjectives that fit the bill? Don’t we all want someone who
we are compatible with on sexual, spiritual and emotional levels? Don’t
we all want someone with a finely tuned moral compass? In choosing a
partner, I don’t think seeking out those attributes should be considered
demanding at all; it is purely common sense.
We are now living in a social space where it seems basic, human decency
is the exception and not the rule. Social media platforms have made
narcissism not only acceptable, but it seems it’s also a crucial trait, if
you want to stand out; which after all, is the point for some people. Most
persons are trying to create highlight reels to compete with other highlight
reels and after a while, it gets really dull and boring. But hey, to each their
own. Don’t get me wrong, there are numerous benefits to social media.
Among the plethora of positives, it gives keen insight into what each of
us value most, if you know how to look; so it can be a useful filtering
mechanism. Our public lives may vary from our social lives, but I’d be
willing to argue that our social media accounts paint a relatively accurate
picture of who we are deep down.
None of us are perfect and for me, there is the constant struggle between
satisfying the carnal urges versus sticking to the unscripted adventure of
finding a partner. Can you imagine how tragic it would be to miss out on
a beautiful relationship because I was engaged in a fruitless pursuit of
fun? There are trade-offs that must be accepted because it’s not a perfect
world. If I choose to satisfy an urge and run the risk of missing out on
that prospective partner, that’s a loss I will have to live with and so must
everyone else. It is scary how low people’s standards have become and age
is no longer a determining factor for virtue or integrity.
Wome