out the heavy weaponry in mentioning Dr Romans, their revered Commoner coach and Winkies nerd. Cut him open and he’ ll bleed red … oh. He probably does. Unless he’ s an alien.
Max Collison( K, 2020-) rapped his section in a dark Brooks shopping centre, regrettably as murkily as the environment he found himself in, however, he did have a difficult set of lines. That being said, I liked the style of deep down: it reminds me of the anthems of old and their direct and ruthless approach. I was not, however, persuaded by the unknown man in a balaclava.
Thus Henry Baxendale( G, 2020-) envisioned the game of his Wykehamical life so far, the joys of a Commoner victory, a“ barbecue up in Sargeant’ s”, and the
The Wykehamist
VIs
celebration to follow. The flip-flopped hotsman was one of the highlights of the anthem.
But alas, the first victory since 2022 was not to be. Moreover, a red-and-white zephyr with a Phil’ s scarf and flip-flops is quite a look. How I’ d continue with that description, I will not disclose.
We’ ve already had XVs thus far, and who knows? By the time this gets published, VIs will have been decided and the season may well be very nearly over. I’ m just hoping the anthems live on, especially given that isn’ t what tends to happen in this day and age. Quite a shame, if you ask me.
Felix Edmondson( Coll: 2020-)
College v Commoners
As the VIs players walked onto the pitch, the crowd waited with baited breath: would this be a demolition with similar‘ nice powers of two’( JWS) on the scoreboard as just two days before? Or would College respond with more? Lacklustre shouts of‘ blue hot’ rang through the warm air under the hot March sun. As the Commoners vs College VIs kicked off, a reasonably big crowd gathered. The hot to start off the game, inevitably, was red.
Some dogged ropesmanship and planting from Luke Edwards set the tone for a very strong Commoner side, letting the team go considerably up in the early stages: great play put a slew of points for them on the scoreboard. The crowd was starting to liven up; Felix Edmondson made‘ funny’ remarks about Jesus being a Collegeman through his megaphone, and Mr Mercer expressed anger at the perceived injustices served by the referees. Seb Morgan, with a wonderful chase, proved he had more depth than the average kick. College fought back: Henry Spoerri was subbed off after a collision that gave him a nosebleed. Oli Kuang hit a huge flyer that sailed in the direction of worms, only to be denied by a tree, its branches hanging into the canvas. Oscar Pritchard also did all he could with flyer after flyer. As good as they were, though, the Commoner defence was better and denies almost everything they received. The whistle blew for the end of the first half: 28 – 10 to Commoners.
The second half began, and Commoners became only more dominant. Seb Morgan, in a play of particular note, managed to bust it over worms for an immediate behind which he then converted from two posts. Kyven Tan, the substitute who came on for the injured Henry, was caught flat footed after James Kennedy caught it and goosestepped him. Arthur Duckworth, playing strong as the ball falls into ropes, crashed into one of the posts, ripping it out of the ground. Mass migration of both fans and players then occurred as the canvas was deemed unfit for further play. The game restarted on the OTH canvas. Mr Cole lamented the lack of chants from the now-relaxed commoner crowd, and tried to start the singing of‘ Stanley Askew, his name is a tool!’ It failed to take off. With a tad more wind now, Commoners were not to be stopped, running wild over a tired College side. This was their fourth half in three days, and the strain showed: they were no longer able to provide the resistance that they could before. With no scoreboards to confirm the final score to the viewers, they could only guess that Commoners won. And win they did: 63 – 19.
Anton Oliver( H, 2021-)
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