2005.05.01 .
Your thought , because only You were in me , and not I , Lord , and my life was sweet for You , for it was Yours , it was Your humility in it and Your will through it .
I took many to the spring of Your word , which was calling out with mourning by my mouth when You were coming down with the richness of Your glory , which became word on earth . You were feeding them with the spirit of comfort , You were forgiving them , and You were cleansing them , because You were the One Who had power to cleanse the man from him and from his sins . There was great pain on You and on me , because those who heard You and felt You , were not giving their lives so that they might win it over again , and You became their will to be able to write Your word from the end of the time , which was Your sufferance , the voice of Your sufferance as long as seven thousand years . What a peace I had because I was able to comfort You bearing Your pain ! You were giving me Your peace and Your yoke , the easiest yoke , and he who has no yoke cannot work as he wants and do his work into Your name , and that one does the work of the one who works in him .
I suffered in You and You suffered in me , the disobedient man , who was hearing You with Your will , which You were giving to the man to work it , but he , hearing did not hear , and seeing he did not come , and I was suffering and I suffer , Lord , when You suffer , for I was and am Your will .
Behold the day of Passover of the year 1955 when You gave Yourself to me as bread and wine by the intercession of the holy bishops Basil , Gregory and John , who came with You on the clouds of the sky down to my bed of humility after I fulfilled Your commandment for the fasting of forty days and forty nights , so that You could dwell in my body and in my spirit as on the throne of the judgment of the creature , because You made me your useful work after You worked me , and then You made me the voice of Your word over the earth . Oh , when You entered with Your Spirit in my body to speak out of Your trumpet , Lord , I saw then all Your pain from the man , all Your longing and I also saw Your resurrection , and then I understood that You came again on earth as victorious over the death , for only death rules over the man , only death , Lord , and the life sighs and dies away sighingly , and the man has no wisdom , because he does not have humility for life , Lord .
Behold the day of Passover of the year of 1955 , when You started Your trumpet sounding and You announced Yourself as the One Who were resurrected from among the dead and You said to those who were watching over my breath of life , which could hardly flicker : Christ is risen ! Christ is risen ! Christ is risen ! This is how You spoke , resurrected Lord , and since then You have been speaking , and behold a feast of the Pentecost of Your word which started through me , Your trumpet , fifty years ago , a day of Passover according to the time and in the likeness of that time , and one day more in order that the step of fulfillment could be seen . Oh , Your path was beautiful , because it was full of sigh after the man , but it has become beautiful and very beautiful for You now by those little disciples after the work of my work with You , Lord . I look with You at their wisdom full of humility where You had room so wholly and I look with You at their hard sighing , for Your coming down has become difficult and heavy , and they are little under it , and they are so little that You cannot be glorified through them before those who are great on earth .
Oh , little children , the mind of those , who do not know to understand the glory of God from those who are chosen by God from eternity , made you so little , so humble ! Oh , my little ones and God ’ s , oh , there is no faith on earth ! The man is too stuck to himself , and his biggest
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