The secret diary of a microdoser
Microdosing . You ’ ve probably heard the word , but what is it ? And what does it mean ? One of our readers , who we ’ re going to call Ray , tells his story
I
hold my breath . The blindfold fits comfortably over my eyes . Electronica plays in my ears and flows through my mind . And in the darkness , there ’ s something there , something ’ s stirring in the distance , I look more closely . Shapes begin to form , patterns start to morph and travel towards me . And then the colours , oh my god , the colours ... And I exhale .
As I lay down , I remember that gravity is my friend . A wave of relaxation washes over my body and I sink into the mattress . Am I in a different reality ? I don ’ t think so . Am I “ astral planning ”? Much as I love the poetry of the description , born from the same hippy roots of my youth , unfortunately , I have to say No . Have I achieved a higher state of consciousness ? Oh , stop it . ( Sorry , but I give short shrift to spiritual narcissism ). Very simply , I am stimulating every single Serotonin 5-HT2A receptor in my brain . And , in doing so , this stunning visualisation of geometrically-shaped tunnels and spaces ( often called the “ Waiting Room ” in DMT circles ) is the mind ’ s expression of that neurological activity .
Did I think that I would ever revisit the psychedelic experiences of my youth ? Good god , no . I thought I was done and dusted with that . I have a senior role in an international business . I manage staff . I have a family . A mortgage to pay . If I ’ m honest , I also feared that I would do the same amount of damage as I did to the teenager in Round 1 . And yet , now in my mid-Fifties , and only recently been diagnosed with autism , I ’ ve stumbled across a psychedelic , Dimethyltryptamine , or DMT as it ’ s commonly known , a key constituent in potions such as Ayahuasca , used in shamanic ceremonies in South America and Indonesia alike , and found that , for my mental health , and at low dosage levels , it is singularly the most effective medicine I have ever taken to manage the effects of “ hyperfocus ” ( a spectrum condition which has its advantages , but is also utterly exhausting ).
Aside from being visually stunning , it ’ s the only drug I ’ ve taken where I feel better afterwards . Sometimes , depending on my work / life stress levels , the level of burnout at the time of the session , the alleviation I experience after the trip , the clarity of thinking can last for hours , days or even weeks .
With the pressures and responsibility that inevitably mount up as we progress through life , time becomes more precious . The ability to take some time out , and even 15 minutes will do , to meditate in the present , to reset your mind , clean out the complex mechanic of the brain ( give the engine some fresh oil , if you like ) is a hugely valuable exercise . Being present , truly present , is a rare and precious
thing . And trust me , if you wash out your mind with DMT , and release the stale thoughts that are stuck in those receptors , you can be nothing but present .
I find most people I meet live in the past , often with regret , or live in the future with hopes and ambition at best , or pressure and anxiety at worse . Very few people actually live in the present . It takes bravery to be present . But if you value your existence , whether you choose the same path as me , or you find your own , please just give yourself the permission , the space , the moment , the vulnerability and the belief in yourself , to be present , to love yourself , and do so in a safe physical and mental environment . Because , believe me , your grey matter is not grey . Far from it .
If our recent experience of the aurora borealis demonstrates anything , it shows us that We are the Witness . When , after one session , I realised that simple fact was the meaning of life , or at least my purpose for existence , so much societal pressure ( you know , the definitions of success that are often impressed on us , generally from marketeers trying to sell us something ) was lifted from my shoulders . We are the Witness . We are the Consciousness of the Universe . Perhaps even the Multiverse . ( Well , why on earth should the Big Bang have occurred just the once , that ’ s crazy thinking , no ?)
Astrophysicists across the world are now leaning towards the idea that actually there are billions of other life forms out there . So where are they ? The answer may be that we ’ re looking in the wrong place , or rather , with the wrong telescope . When I realised the irony of trying to see these geometric shapes with my eyes while blindfolded , and used what some cultures called The Third Eye , suddenly the sphere of consciousness that is “ Ray ” travelled further back in the physical space that is my grey matter , expanded to the size of a field of corn . I could even see behind me . And that begs the question , is DMT the telescope that we ’ ve been seeking ? Or is it just shits and giggles ? I don ’ t know , but as I travel down this road , I ’ ll keep an open mind .
While I ’ m passionate about psychedelics and regard them as a therapeutical medicine rather than a party drug , I ’ m very aware that the Government does not agree with me and you should be aware of this .
But there are other downsides of an unregulated black market economy . Good quality DMT is hard to find . If your DMT is dark in colour , is harsh on the throat , or smells “ of the countryside ”, let alone plastic or rubber , then it is not pure enough for microdosing , or for any dosing for that matter . I have found that the vaping fluid should look like a lager in colour . If it looks like a bitter or , even worse , a stout , then please respect yourself and steer well clear . The good stuff is a blonde , not a brunette .
Be safe . Ray , Brighton , 2024 .
Editor ’ s note : The Whistler does not condone Ray ’ s thoughts and opinions . We chose to publish this article as we know there are many microdosers in the city , probably in our readership . But remember , what works for Ray may not work for anyone else .