Pride in Pride
As a newly out person in Brighton , what does Pride mean to you ? It means a lot . I ’ m recently out , but also it ’ s now I ’ m comfortable with it . I was out when I was maybe 16 or 17 . I was aware I was bisexual , but I wasn ’ t proud and it didn ’ t work out for me . It felt actually quite scary , and I reverted to being straight for a really long time , until I had my first girlfriend last year . And last year I had COVID , so this is my first year feeling proud at Pride . And it just feels quite a big deal because I think I owe it to myself after growing up being so internally homophobic to myself , and just rejecting my entire identity , rejecting myself . I didn ’ t want to live my life that way . Now I ’ m so outrageously camp and queer all the time because I was afraid to express myself that way the whole of my life . So I ’ m excited to experience that feeling with other people and really feel the passion amongst everyone .
What bit of Pride would you feel part of ? Would you feel comfortable being seen by the crowds , with the tourists coming to look at ‘ the gays ’? Do you want to be there being celebrated by outsiders ? It ’ s difficult because I ’ m not very queer presenting . People wouldn ’ t be able to tell I ’ m queer just by looking at me which is something I ’ ve struggled with in terms of finding someone to date . I ’ m very aware you have to fit into the stereotype to be seen . So like you can tell gay men are gay if they look gay , or butch lesbians , for example , but there ’ s so many other gay people who don ’ t fit into the stereotypes and I ’ m one of them . And I feel it ’ s difficult for me to feel seen in that sense .
I do want to take part in Pride , but I don ’ t think I would be able to because I don ’ t think people would see me . So it ’ s quite conflicting . But probably just being amongst the atmosphere and so many other proud people will be more than enough for me .
Physically the parade is down the middle of the street with the onlookers on the side . You don ’ t have to be gay to be in Pride . How do you feel about that ?
I don ’ t like when people use it as a drunken street party , an excuse to get drunk during the day and wear glitter . OK , it ’ s nice , but you have to understand that queer people suffer a lot . It ’ s very , very new that we ’ ve been accepted , and can find communities with each other and go to gay bars and comfortably be safe , but even in Brighton ... my friend who ’ s a trans woman got attacked and beaten to the ground by a bouncer of a queer bar . So even in Brighton you don ’ t feel safe all the time .
We really historically had to fight for acceptance by society and fight to find communities and everything and it ’ s just ... probably straight people don ’ t see any struggles at all , you probably wouldn ’ t see those issues . But I see them all the time . But , of course , alliance is a huge contributing factor to being accepted and proud , and for those genuine people who come to cheer for us and support us , I love that !
You live Brighton , you ’ ve grown up in Brighton but there are plenty of very homophobic places . What does Pride say to the world ? I think it ’ s supposed to show solidarity and it ’ s supposed to show a celebration for being comfortable in who you are . That ’ s basically what it comes down to . Because most queer people fight with themselves for so long internally . You hide who you are for so long because you ’ re scared of what other people will think and you ’ re scared of being rejected by friends , family , society , everything . You fight with yourself for who you are .
Pride just comes down to being a celebration of people accepting themselves , of being comfortable with who you are and proud of who you are and each other . I ’ m proud , genuinely I ’ m proud . And I know that my queer friends , they ’ re proud and it makes a huge difference . Being in an environment that encourages feeling that sense of pride . Because your whole life you just you haven ’ t felt that at all . And it makes a difference knowing people care about you being OK with yourself .
But it ’ s also a blurred line because the city has made it a money making experience . You pay for tickets . The streets are closed off , the clubs are closed off , the parks are closed off , and it ’ s ticketed and the performers at the festival are straight . They ’ re queer icons . They ’ re loved by the queer community , but they ’ re straight people . Why wouldn ’ t you have queer performers ?
Maybe but isn ’ t it about solidarity ? It is about solidarity , of course . But it ’ s Pride . It ’ s Gay Pride . Britney Spears performed . Britney ’ s not gay . She ’ s a cis straight woman . It ’ s Pride ! Get Elton John , or anyone else who ’ s queer . So that ’ s the thing that makes me think it ’ s just about the money and the tickets and the people coming down .
For your first Pride , does that matter ? Yes , it does . I just want it to feel authentic and genuine . I don ’ t want it to feel like a commercialised business venture . I know people come to Pride and they don ’ t care about gay rights . They don ’ t care . I ’ ve been with people previous years who don ’ t care about gay rights , straight people who ’ ve never spoken about gay rights and they go just want to go and get drunk because everyone ’ s out on the streets and it ’ s fun . So you don ’ t know if it ’ s genuine these days . You don ’ t . I ’ m going because I am proud and I want to see other proud people . But it ’ s bittersweet because you know other people are coming down and they don ’ t give a fuck .
l An extended version of this interview with Loulou Novick is available on the new Whistler podcast