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Journey to Healing
These Three Words
Connie Johnson will receive her master ’ s degree this May .
So I ’ m going to get some more of that from them . HIV is just one of the things that people may need to be healed from . Be honest with yourself about why you do what you do . If we gave ourselves permission to be honest about what we ’ re going through some of the decisions that we make , we wouldn ’ t . There was a point in time where I refused to take the HIV medication . I saw how sick they could make you . I wouldn ’ t go to the doctor . I ended up back and forth in the emergency room . The doctors said , “ There ’ s nothing we can do for you .” I had AIDS and I was on my way out . I sat in the hospital bed , waiting to die . My sister came to see me . My aunt and uncle came and looked down at me and cried . I felt like I was my mother all over again . When my family left the room , I cried out to God . “ Lord , I don ’ t want to go out like that . Whatever you want from me . You ’ ve got it .”
In that moment , my real healing began . Surrender is a process . I decided this isn ’ t my life . I couldn ’ t do things my way . My way was going to end with my life in the ground . Physical healing is good . We need strong bodies . But
through that surrender , I was emotionally healed .
To donate to Connie ’ s trip to Kenya , go to : https :// fundrazr . com / campaigns / 6QXN3
Connie Johnson is a lifelong learner whose educational pursuits will result in a master ’ s degree in social justice development from Loyola University in Chicago . She is also a spoken word artist and inspirational speaker . She is an aspiring author and is writing her memoir , Survivor ’ s Song .
Bennett and her husband , Albert on their wedding day in 2012
For my beloved husband , I had yet to create the infamous “ Honey Do ” List of house renovations ( with the addition of a fence project for the front yard being at the top ) when a severe stomach ache had me rushing him to emergency three weeks earlier , prompting surgery for a bowel obstruction the same day . Everything was so quick , so urgent that I had no time for fear or worry . Neither were an option ; I needed him to know that I had his back . For better or worse , in sickness and in health . But on this day , his energy was driven by a mixture of anger and fear . And it was palpable , thanks to an erroneous call from the hospital ' s cancer center the day before " confirming " his appointment , an appointment we had yet to learn about from his surgeon . My role was to keep the energy and focus positive , even when I had no idea what the doctors would be telling us . The big C was the last thing we expected as newlyweds ; after all , we had yet to use all of our wedding gifts . But just as the surgeon was led to the three carcinoid tumors ( that would have gone undetected in their location had it not been for the pain ), I had to remind him that God would lead us through whatever news came our way . For my soul mate , I held him tight and uttered these words : God is able .
January 8 , 2013 will forever be the day I let go of the hurt of a little girl who felt abandoned in order to assume the role of a strong woman who needed to be there in every aspect for her husband .
Felicia Bennett is the editor and founder of The Well-Heeled Society lifestyle blog . She is the social media manager for a UK-based company , and has written for Magazine BLU , about ... Time , her Rochester and Relate magazines .
30 The Well Magazine / Spring 2013