The Well Magazine Fall/Winter 2015 | Page 22

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 7 Joi to Joy from February 11, 2004: Tell God how you feel (to be honest) Focus on who God is—his unchanging nature Trust God to keep his promise Remember what God has already done I knew I was angry but I had to deal with the fact that I was angry with God. When I was able to really tell God how I felt, I had my breakthrough in June. of a workaholic after her death. This went on for months. I was the superintendent of Sunday School and a deacon at my church. I knew I was off base when a Sunday school teacher didn’t show up one Sunday and I went to the class to teach the lesson and I didn’t know what the lesson was. It was Easter A Breakthrough Sunday. I told the pastor that I People told me to get over it. Even family needed to be gone for a while. I members told me it was time to move on. stopped going to church. All of my I had never opened one of the newsletters bibles and books gathered dust. from the Bereaved Parents group. But one At work, there was a lady named day, I decided to open the drawer. The Troi. One day she approached me first newsletter that I saw had an article, Eddie Price Jr. and his daughter, Joi and asked if we could talk. We went “How To Deal With People Who Say to the cafeteria. I didn’t know her Stupid Things.” well and I never noticed a gold necklace and pendant she wore They listed about 10 stupid statements that people say to those that had an etching of a little boy. It was her son and he had died who are grieving like, “Get over it.” I had almost every one of at age 6 or 7. She told me about a support group for bereaved them said to me. When I read that article, I was like, “I’m going parents. to go to this group.” Bereaved Parents of the The group met once a USA (BP/USA) is a namonth on a Wednesday tional non-profit self-help at a Methodist church. group that offers support, When I got there I was understanding and comthe only black person in passion to bereaved para room of about 18 ents, grandparents or people. Every one of siblings struggling to rethem had lost a child. build their lives after the They went around the death of their children, room. You identified grandchildren or siblings. yourself and then said It had been a little over who your child was, a year since Joi had died. how old they were and Troi invited me to a meethow they died. ing. I wasn’t ready for When my turn came, Joi and her parents, Mary Price and Eddie Price Jr. that. But I agreed to rethe floodgates opened. ceive the group’s newsletter. When they started coming, I would They let me scream and holler for 45 straight minutes. For 45 tuck them away in the drawer, unread. straight minutes I screamed and cursed and never repeated myIn 2004, three people encouraged me to come back to church. I self. I let out all the anguish of not only Joi’s death but of the decided to go to a prayer meeting at a local church. I walked in hundreds of horrific cases of children’s deaths that I had investiand sat in the back. The pastor was at the front teaching. He said gated over the years with the Department of Children and Family he didn’t know who this was for, but God had given him a mesServices. At one time, when a child died in the state, my name sage that someone was angry with God. was the last one to sign off on the report. It was a heavy burden. I knew it was me. I didn’t know how heavy until Joi died. I had compartmentalized The pastor made four points that he said if you did these all that death. It was separate from me and my family. But when things, you would get through it. I still have the notes written 22 The Well Magazine Fall/Winter 2015