CONTINUED FROM PAGE 7
Joi to Joy
from February 11, 2004:
Tell God how you feel (to be honest)
Focus on who God is—his unchanging nature
Trust God to keep his promise
Remember what God has already done
I knew I was angry but I had to deal with
the fact that I was angry with God. When
I was able to really tell God how I felt, I
had my breakthrough in June.
of a workaholic after her death. This
went on for months.
I was the superintendent of Sunday
School and a deacon at my church. I
knew I was off base when a Sunday
school teacher didn’t show up one
Sunday and I went to the class to
teach the lesson and I didn’t know
what the lesson was. It was Easter
A Breakthrough
Sunday. I told the pastor that I
People told me to get over it. Even family
needed to be gone for a while. I
members told me it was time to move on.
stopped going to church. All of my
I had never opened one of the newsletters
bibles and books gathered dust.
from the Bereaved Parents group. But one
At work, there was a lady named
day, I decided to open the drawer. The
Troi. One day she approached me
first newsletter that I saw had an article,
Eddie Price Jr. and his daughter, Joi
and asked if we could talk. We went
“How To Deal With People Who Say
to the cafeteria. I didn’t know her
Stupid Things.”
well and I never noticed a gold necklace and pendant she wore
They listed about 10 stupid statements that people say to those
that had an etching of a little boy. It was her son and he had died
who are grieving like, “Get over it.” I had almost every one of
at age 6 or 7. She told me about a support group for bereaved
them said to me. When I read that article, I was like, “I’m going
parents.
to go to this group.”
Bereaved Parents of the
The group met once a
USA (BP/USA) is a namonth on a Wednesday
tional non-profit self-help
at a Methodist church.
group that offers support,
When I got there I was
understanding and comthe only black person in
passion to bereaved para room of about 18
ents, grandparents or
people. Every one of
siblings struggling to rethem had lost a child.
build their lives after the
They went around the
death of their children,
room. You identified
grandchildren or siblings.
yourself and then said
It had been a little over
who your child was,
a year since Joi had died.
how old they were and
Troi invited me to a meethow they died.
ing. I wasn’t ready for
When my turn came,
Joi and her parents, Mary Price and Eddie Price Jr.
that. But I agreed to rethe floodgates opened.
ceive the group’s newsletter. When they started coming, I would
They let me scream and holler for 45 straight minutes. For 45
tuck them away in the drawer, unread.
straight minutes I screamed and cursed and never repeated myIn 2004, three people encouraged me to come back to church. I
self. I let out all the anguish of not only Joi’s death but of the
decided to go to a prayer meeting at a local church. I walked in
hundreds of horrific cases of children’s deaths that I had investiand sat in the back. The pastor was at the front teaching. He said
gated over the years with the Department of Children and Family
he didn’t know who this was for, but God had given him a mesServices. At one time, when a child died in the state, my name
sage that someone was angry with God.
was the last one to sign off on the report. It was a heavy burden.
I knew it was me.
I didn’t know how heavy until Joi died. I had compartmentalized
The pastor made four points that he said if you did these
all that death. It was separate from me and my family. But when
things, you would get through it. I still have the notes written
22
The Well Magazine Fall/Winter 2015