little girl, and she didn’t have many memories of her father living
Family also included close friends adopted as family. For those
in the house with them when she was growing up.
who knew her, if she ever called you her family, you were her
She grew up in southern Georgia before the Civil Rights Movefamily and she treated you as such. She taught us to address those
ment. Her home was a single-parent, female-headed household.
she adopted as sisters and brothers as “Aunt” or “Uncle”,
Her mom was educated and able to work selling insurance. She
“brother” or “sister”. These relationships are still intact today.
saw her dad and would stay with him in Florida when possible.
They transcend blood, time, distance, and even death.
Although her mother was a great mother, and managed to provide basic necessities, my mother said she still longed for her
Home Base
father’s presence. There were times she felt disconnected from
Not only was I blessed to grow up with her as my mother, I
family and wanted to know her heritage.
also had the great pleasure of
She didn’t like the broworking with her in her parken family. She said the
enting programs for many
reason she didn’t leave my
years through the Dr. King
father (yes, there were
Adult Education Center and
times when she wanted
Kankakee Community College
to) was because he was “a
(KCC). One of Mom’s pracgood dad even when he
tices was to involve her family
wasn’t such a good husin many aspects of her work
band.” She didn’t want
with other families. We helped
her children to experience
sort clothes for needy families,
the longing she’d felt
delivered toys to families’
growing up without both
homes at Christmas (with my
parents.
dad dressed as Santa), preShe loved her family
pared and delivered food basand didn’t care how
kets, cooked and fed f amilies
someone was related. She
in Kankakee County, and the
claimed all her people.
Dr. Marjorie Thompson, Rev. John Thompson and their grandchildren. near West Side of Chicago. I
For instance, her mother’s
felt privileged when KCC acfamily line descends from the Bell family. Mom would claim
tually hired and paid me to do what Mom had me doing for free.
everyone with the Bell name as a relative. We used to tease that
In the summer of 1998 while watching a baseball game, Mom
she was related to Illinois Bell, Taco Bell, Liberty Bell…
had an idea. It was to use the game of baseball as a framework for
She made it her business to know family heritage, then took it
a family intervention program that wouldn’t make families feel
upon herself to connect and educate other family members. I
they were broken just because they were going through tough
remember multiple generations of family members getting their
times. My mother and I developed the SAFE at Home Base confamily schooling while sitting at her kitchen or dining room table.
cept for family groups at our church, Greater Mt. Sinai Baptist
She was always cooking and feeding family. It didn’t matter
Church on the West Side of Chicago.
whether family came to our house from out of town, or if we
SAFE at Home Base is metaphorically based on a baseball conwent to theirs. She was always conducting family lessons around a
cept to help families visualize themselves as a winning team in the
table filled with something good to eat.
game of life. The home team represents the family. The dugout
The thing I remember most about these “lessons” was they
represents the home and family life where members interact and
almost always happened when that family member was seeking
bond, develop individually and collectively, strategize, support,
answers to solve something happening deep inside their souls.
learn, recover, coach, and discipline. The baseball field represents
They’d almost always be disgruntled with their life or family.
the game of life. The baseball diamond in particular is presented
Sometimes they were confused about their identity and life direcfrom the viewpoint that family life is a diamond worth fighting
tion. She would tell them about their heritage. There was somefor, and a precious gift that all should cherish.
thing powerfully transforming and settling about knowing who
The bases represent family and individual functioning within
they were and where they’d come from. I think it also helped that
various life domains: first base represents relationships, commushe was there for them— listening and sharing family treasures
nity and social systems; second base represents education and
and skeletons.
academia; third base represents work, career and economic sys18
The Well Magazine Fall/Winter 2013