Decent
Have you ever felt the crushing weight of your soul being torn in two?
One side screaming at you to grab onto something, anything that will keep your head above the water,
While the other side is already dragging you farther and farther into the icy black depths.
You can make out the shimmering light of people standing along the shore line.
Many pass you by without a second glance, choosing to ignore your struggle.
Occasionally you try to call out for help, but your words come out gargled and you choke on them.
The few who try to help cannot understand so they throw clichés at you like life preservers.
“Just hold on, this will be over soon!”
“One day you’ll look back and realize this was no big deal!”
“Just calm down, things aren’t so bad!”
But they have never fallen over the edge of the cliff, never experienced this feeling of slowly dying.
As you near the bottom you begin to frantically reach for the surface,
But you’re an anchor now and there’s nowhere for you to go but down.
They use you to secure their own lives, pulling you up only to tie more weights to your heart.
As the dark waters consume you, day turns into eternal night.
Your soul becomes numb then ice cold, and it’s only a matter of time before it shatters.
You can still see them above you breathing, now pretending that they hadn’t just watched your decent.
They are disappointed, convinced that you hadn’t fought hard enough to survive.
Some shake their heads at you muttering, “Just swim” like it’s the easiest thing in the world,
But no one ever taught you how.
- Laurel Kraus
-JoHanna Loar