The Virtuous Daughter Magazine Fall 2017 edition Cherish | Page 22

of my good friends. Sometimes we worked together, but other times we’d only overlap at the end or beginning of a shift. I still remember coming into the café early one morning to open, and finding my favorite bottled tea in the fridge with a sticky note in the distinct handwriting of one of my friends. “Have a good day, Bloomin’ Heather.” As she closed the night before, she thought of me, purchased my favorite drink, and took the time to brighten my morning. It’s no wonder I consid- ered her one of my closest friends. When we start to think about ways to extend spontaneous kindness to our friends, there’s no end of ideas. I’ve been the recipient of many such deeds: from donuts de- livered to my door, to handmade cards, to a spotless bathroom. One friend has blessed me over and over by sending me links to songs, articles, and sermons that made her think of me. You can sneak a five-dol- lar bill into your friend’s purse with a note to buy herself a latte. You could pick a bunch of zinnias and leave them in her car. You can drop in at her workplace with a mug of 22 tea or a muffin fresh from the oven. You can sweep the floor or help cut out puppets for the Sunday school class she teaches. These little sponta- neous deeds of kindness will remind our friends that we notice and care about them. The people we spend our days with get the brunt of our whims, selfish- ness, and mood swings. While this is especially common in families, our local friends can end up get- ting similar treatment if we aren’t careful to extend generous respect. Respect simply means valuing Sincere Questions another person and demonstrating Remember the hypothetical friend that value. We can show respect to returning from Bible school? How our friends by valuing them, their about asking her some thoughtful time, and their plans. questions about her experiences? A Respecting our friends begins by main complaint of people returning valuing who they are as people. home after adventures away is that This means listening well, not they never get a chance to really interrupting or hijacking conver- explain all the things they learned sations, praying for them and with and all the experiences they had. them, and giving the physically I’ve been blessed by several friends present friend priority over the who take keen interest in my expe- friend on our phones. Respect riences. Their questions and care also includes valuing their time – have helped me regroup when I’ve thanking them when they go out of returned home. They expect me to their way to help us, not assuming have changed and want to share the they can drop everything to pick us experiences with me as much as they up, and asking if they’re free before can. launching into a long rant on the A few questions you can ask are: phone. Valuing their plans means What significant things did you letting them know if we’re running learn? What are you still processing? late, RSVPing rather than assum- Were there challenges you didn’t ing they know what we’re planning, expect