The Virtuous Daughter Magazine Fall 2017 edition Cherish | Page 22
of my good friends. Sometimes
we worked together, but other
times we’d only overlap at the
end or beginning of a shift. I still
remember coming into the café
early one morning to open, and
finding my favorite bottled tea
in the fridge with a sticky note in
the distinct handwriting of one
of my friends. “Have a good day,
Bloomin’ Heather.” As she closed
the night before, she thought of
me, purchased my favorite drink,
and took the time to brighten my
morning. It’s no wonder I consid-
ered her one of my closest friends.
When we start to think about ways
to extend spontaneous kindness
to our friends, there’s no end of
ideas. I’ve been the recipient of
many such deeds: from donuts de-
livered to my door, to handmade
cards, to a spotless bathroom. One
friend has blessed me over and
over by sending me links to songs,
articles, and sermons that
made her think of me.
You can sneak a five-dol-
lar bill into your friend’s
purse with a note to buy
herself a latte. You could
pick a bunch of zinnias
and leave them in her car.
You can drop in at her
workplace with a mug of
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tea or a muffin fresh from the oven.
You can sweep the floor or help cut
out puppets for the Sunday school
class she teaches. These little sponta-
neous deeds of kindness will remind
our friends that we notice and care
about them.
The people we spend our days with
get the brunt of our whims, selfish-
ness, and mood swings. While this
is especially common in families,
our local friends can end up get-
ting similar treatment if we aren’t
careful to extend generous respect.
Respect simply means valuing
Sincere Questions
another person and demonstrating
Remember the hypothetical friend
that value. We can show respect to
returning from Bible school? How
our friends by valuing them, their
about asking her some thoughtful
time, and their plans.
questions about her experiences? A
Respecting our friends begins by
main complaint of people returning valuing who they are as people.
home after adventures away is that
This means listening well, not
they never get a chance to really
interrupting or hijacking conver-
explain all the things they learned
sations, praying for them and with
and all the experiences they had.
them, and giving the physically
I’ve been blessed by several friends
present friend priority over the
who take keen interest in my expe-
friend on our phones. Respect
riences. Their questions and care
also includes valuing their time –
have helped me regroup when I’ve
thanking them when they go out of
returned home. They expect me to
their way to help us, not assuming
have changed and want to share the they can drop everything to pick us
experiences with me as much as they up, and asking if they’re free before
can.
launching into a long rant on the
A few questions you can ask are:
phone. Valuing their plans means
What significant things did you
letting them know if we’re running
learn? What are you still processing? late, RSVPing rather than assum-
Were there challenges you didn’t
ing they know what we’re planning,
expect