Internet Explorer
Internet Explorer lounges on my desktop, showing off its crown, smug and condescending.
It is the unreachable itch on my back, not always apparent but infuriatingly permanent.
Knowing that I have no choice but to let it win, it bursts with self-importance while I unwillingly bow down to it.
Internet Explorer is Colin Creevey, demanding attention wherever I turn.
You, Internet Explorer, are an impractical and vainglorious program with no purpose other than to frustrate and thwart the blameless people of the internet.
It creates cumbersome cases of extreme irritation, irking innocent internet-goers.
Do not be fooled by its golden circlet, for within it lies a non-serviceable format decorated with elaborate, useless details.
If it could be manifested into an edible state, it would be week-old rancid meat covered in a wide variety of steamed, soggy vegetables, topped off with a bit of curdled whipped cream and a moldy cherry and called a king’s feast.
Every time I am forced to open it, I can hear the disdainful, self-applauding tone it uses to congratulate itself on another oppressed victim.
Despite on occasion having no other option than to indulge Internet Explorer, I still feel the evil taint of it seeping into me, filling me with its atrocious delusions.
It is like a sly and cunning demon, patiently waiting until its unknowing prey slips into its malicious grasp.
Twirling its unearned crown, it bides its time until it sees a desperate straggler and lures it into its nightmarish depths.
Casting its spell over me, I attempt to resist its choking grip but I know that I, too, am in danger of becoming another brainwashed minion.
Turning from other search engines, Internet Explorer is Lucifer, infamous and yet unavoidable.
Obnoxious offenses obviously augment obscenities, affronting all who are forced into partaking of it.
-Danica M.
Poetry
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