1. I was in a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
2. I changed my iPad’s Name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.
3. England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
4. Sea captains don’t like crew cuts.
5. They told me I have Type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
6. Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
7. Did you hear about the guy who had his entire left side cut off? Don’t worry, he’s all right now.
8. I’m really trying to lose weight, so I went to a paint store…someone mentioned I could get thinner there.
9. A grenade thrown into a French kitchen would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
10. I decided against becoming a vegetarian—it would be a missed steak.
11. To some, marriage is a word; but to others, a sentence.
12. During a recession, the most secure job is a garbage man. Business is always picking up.
13. “Frog parking only. All others will be toad.”
14. A king wakes up and goes to his window. He looks out and says, “Looks like another reigny day.”
15. Mahatma Gandhi walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail, and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him...a super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
-Danica M.
15 More Terrible Puns