tvc.dsj.org | September 5, 2017
COMMENTARY
17
Moral Theology: The Power of Ritual
By Rev. Ron Rolheiser, OMI
Theologian, teacher, award-winning
author, and President of the Oblate
School of Theology in San Antonio, TX
I don’t always find it easy to pray. Often I’m over-
tired, distracted, caught-up in tasks, pressured by
work, short on time, lacking the appetite for prayer,
or more strongly drawn to do something else. But I
do pray daily; despite the fact that I often don’t want
to and despite the fact that many times prayer can be
boring and uninteresting. I pray daily because I’m
committed to a number of rituals for prayer, the of-
fice of the Church, lauds and vespers, the Eucharist,
and daily meditation.
And these rituals serve me well. They hold me,
keep me steady, and keep me praying regularly even
when, many times, I don’t feel like praying. That’s
the power of ritual. If I only prayed when I felt like
it, I wouldn’t pray very regularly.
Ritual practice keeps us doing what we should
be doing (praying, working, being at table with our
families, being polite) even when our feelings aren’t
always onside. We need to do certain thi ngs not be-
cause we always feel like doing them, but because
it’s right to do them.
And this is true for many areas of our lives, not
just for prayer. Take, for example, the social rituals
of propriety and good manners that we lean on each
day. Our heart isn’t always in the greetings or the
expressions of love, appreciation, and gratitude that
we give to each other each day. We greet each other,
we say goodbye to each other, we express love for
each other, and we express gratitude to each other
through a number of social formulae, ritual words:
Good morning! Good to see you! Have a great day!
Have a great evening! Sleep well! Nice meeting you!
Nice to work with you! I love you! Thank you!
We say these things to each other daily, even
though we have to admit that there are times, many
times, when these expressions appear to be purely
formal and seem not at all honest to how we are
feeling at that time. Yet we say them and they are
true in that they express what lies in our hearts
at a deeper level than our more momentary and
ephemeral feelings of distraction, irritation, disap-
pointment, or anger.
I pray daily because I’m committed to
a number of rituals for prayer, the office
of the Church, lauds and vespers, the
Eucharist, and daily meditation.
Moreover these words hold us in civility, in good
manners, in graciousness, in neighborliness, in
respect, and in love despite the fluctuations in our
energy, mood, and feelings. Our energy, mood, and
feelings, at any given moment, are not a true indica-
tion of what’s in our hearts, as all of us know and
frequently need to apologize for. Who of us has not
at some time been upset and bitter towards someone
who we love deeply? The deep truth is that we love
that person, but that’s not what we’re feeling at the
moment.
If we only expressed affection, love, and gratitude
at those times when our feelings were completely
onside, we wouldn’t express these very often. Thank
God for the ordinary, social rituals which hold us in
love, affection, graciousness, civility, and good man-
ners at those times when our feelings are out of sorts
with our truer selves. These rituals, like a sturdy
container, hold us safe until the good feelings return.
Today, in too many areas of life, we no longer un-
derstand ritual. That leaves us trying to live our lives
by our feelings; not that feelings are bad, but rather
that they come upon us as wild, unbidden guests.
Iris Murdoch asserts that our world can change in
fifteen seconds because we can fall in love in fifteen
seconds. But we can also fall out of love in fifteen
seconds! Feelings work that way! And so we cannot
sustain love, marriage, family, friendship, collegial
relationships, and neighborliness by feelings. We
need help. Rituals can help sustain our relationships
beyond feelings.
Dietrich Bonhoeffer used to give this instruction
to a couple when he was officiating at their wedding.
He would tell them: Today you are in love and you
believe that your love can sustain your marriage. But
it can’t. However your marriage can sustain your
love. Marriage is a not just a sacrament, it’s also a
ritual container.
Ritual not only can help sustain a marriage, it
can also help sustain our prayer lives, our civility,
our manners, our graciousness, our humor, our
gratitude, and our balance in life. Be wary of anyone
who in the name of psychology, love, or spirituality
tells you that ritual is empty and you must rely on
your energy, mood, and feelings as your guiding
compass. They won’t carry you far.
Daniel Berrigan once wrote: Don’t travel with any-
one who expects you to be interesting all the time.
On a long journey there are bound to be some boring
stretches. John of the Cross echoes this when talking
about prayer. He tells us that, during our generative
years, one of the biggest problems we will face daily
in our prayer is simple boredom.
And so we can be sure our feelings won’t sustain
us, but ritual practices can.
We are the World
By Gregory Kepferle
CEO, Catholic Charities of Santa Clara
County and President, Charities Housing
Development Corporation
Eons ago, when I was in high school, I had a
wise Jesuit counselor, who asked what I wanted to
do with my life. Back then I thought I wanted to be
a missionary, so I responded, “I want to save the
world.” Accustomed to such idealistic enthusiasms
from students of Jesuit schools, my counselor wryly
noted that the world was already saved. He may have
added, “But most people don’t know it.” Far from
discouraging my naive declaration, he only encour-
aged me to use my gifts to (in Jesuit language) “be a
man for others.” In our Catholic Charities language,
we interpret that as “to change lives for good.”
Having lived in Japan as a child and later in vari-
ous parts of the U.S., I was accustomed both to being
“the other” and welcoming “the other.” My parents
regularly hosted exchange students from around the
world, so as a family we became friends with people
from different countries as far flung as Columbia,
Sweden, and Vietnam. Rather than being raised as
xenophobes, I think because of our upbringing, we
became “xenophiles.” There was one point a few
years ago when I had siblings and close relatives
living on five continents.
So it makes perfect sense to me that my vocation
has become changing lives for good at Catholic
Charities. For here we welcome people from all
over the globe and serve our Santa Clara County
neighbors most of whom came from somewhere
else, or whose parents or grandparents came from
somewhere else. Subsequently our board, volun-
teers, and staff at Catholic Charities reflect the rich
diversity of our community, including race, gender,
sexual orientation, age, language, national origin,
disability, religion, and veteran status. I believe that
it is because of this universal (Catholic) diversity, that
people who need our help trust us to treat them with
the compassion and respect they deserve as human
beings created in the image and likeness of God.
For those who struggle with fear, hatred, or
prejudice against “the other,” I invite them to open
the clenched fist, release their clenched hearts, be
not afraid. Come and see the beauty and love and
hope created by the caring diverse community
that is Catholic Charities. We are the world. All are
welcome.
To learn more about Catholic Charities go to
www.catholiccharitiesscc.org.