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SPIRITUALITY
September 5, 2017 | The Valley Catholic
By Father Brendan McGuire
Pastor of Holy Spirit Parish, San Jose, and Vicar General
for special projects, Diocese of San Jose. Email him at [email protected].
Sunday Homilies
Confliction Resolution Forgive. How Many Times?
Every major organization or corporation has a Human Resources or Person-
nel Department. As part of that department’s regular work, there are proce-
dures on how to deal with conflict; conflict resolution policies and procedures.
Each one is slightly different but they all have the same sort of process. One
organization will say if you have a conflict with your peer, you need to go to
your peer first and try to resolve it, and then to your manager. If it fails there,
you move to your manger’s manager and so on and so on.
In other organizations, if you have a problem with your peer, you go to
your manager first, or any one of your manager’s peers; you can go to any
same-level manager in the organization; it does not have to be your particular
supervisor. And then, if that does not resolve it, you can move to any manager
on the next level up. A different sort of approach but the same resolution.
In today’s Gospel, we hear of a similar protocol to deal with conflict. It says
that if you have a problem with a person you should go to that person first. If
that resolves it, then all is okay. If not, then you bring two or three witnesses.
And if that does not work, then you go to the church. If that does not work,
then you treat them like you would an enemy, a Gentile.
But that’s not all we hear today. We also hear in the first reading, the
Prophet Ezekiel says we are not only responsible for our own sin, but also
responsible for the sin of those with whom we have oversight. In other words,
when we sin in one segment of the community, it has an impact in the entire
community. All our sin has a communal nature to it; and we should all help
one another to be better.
Furthermore, in the letter to the Romans, Paul reminds us that the law is
fulfilled through love. In other words, if we have to go and challenge somebody
who has offended us or hurt us, or if they have hurt somebody else, then we
must find a way to do so in a loving and kind way. Yes, we are responsible for
our own sin and for their sin but we must find a way to address it in a loving
and kind way. That is the really hard work. Jesus calls us to a higher way.
Whether it be a fellow student, a fellow co-worker, teacher or boss, may
we find a kind, gentle and loving way to challenge and encourage each other
in the way of our faith to serve one another by helping one another grow. To
resolve conflict, we must face it and learn to grow in the midst of it. May we
use Jesus as our model. “If my brother sins against me, how many times should I forgive? As many
as seven times?” Peter asks. He must have felt rather accomplished in asking
this because the tradition up to that point only required the Jews to forgive
three times. Indeed, more dominant in the Jewish scriptures is the passage,
“an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.” Jesus tells Peter something radical.
He doesn’t say, “Yes; it’s seven times.” He says, “seventy-seven times” which
was an expression basically saying every time!
Is it possible that the Lord is asking us to forgive even that one person who
has hurt us so deeply? That spouse who wreaked our lives in a bitter divorce?
That ex-boyfriend or girlfriend that lied about our relationship? That sibling
who remains completely self-centered and destroys every family gathering
with their antics? That ex-friend who betrayed us so many years ago? How
much harder it would be to forgive those who caused such grievous offenses
such rape or incest. Is the Lord serious that we have to forgive every time?
Yes. We