The Valley Catholic
MARRIAGE/FAMILY LIFE
Marriage Minute: Couple prayer
By Rory & Manuel Dominguez
Worldwide Marriage Encounter
I attended Catholic school through high school. Prayer was
a daily experience for me. We prayed every morning and said
grace before lunch. Prayer was part of my family life, too; grace
before dinner was normal. My mother taught us how to pray the Rosary and we
prayed as a family very often.
Manuel’s experience of prayer growing up did not follow a daily routine. His
mother would hold novena prayer services when someone passed away. They
would light a candle for the sick and were told that praying was the right thing
to do. He learned by observing adults.
For both of us, our prayers are mostly silent conversations with the Lord or
recited prayers that bring us comfort. Several years ago, it was suggested that we
pray as a couple. What exactly does that mean? We attend church as a couple;
we say grace with our kids. But couple prayer can be more than that.
We both felt uncomfortable with the idea. I felt uneasy just imagining Manuel
and I praying out loud together. I felt embarrassed that he would hear my deepest longings, fears and worries.
The first night we tried praying together, we said, “You start.“ “No, you start!”
We decided that praying the Rosary out loud together was something we both
could feel comfortable doing.
Our journey in prayer continues every day. It’s a journey that includes praying
for each other as well as couple prayer. We know this can be a new experience
for many couples. But couple prayer draws us closer and helps us to recognize
that God is an essential part of our Sacrament.
Inviting Him into our relationship through couple prayer, helps to bring the
graces we need to fulfill the life He designed for us as husband and wife. For more
information on creating a joy-filled marriage visit: www.lovemoredeeply.org.
Family caregivers respect life year-round
By Bill Dodds
Catholic News Service
As Respect Life Month rolls around
each October, I realize that one of the
joys of working with family caregivers is
being able to point out to them that what
they’re doing is more than they realize.
Over the years, I’ve heard caregivers
say, “I used to do [insert activity], but
now ...” referring to the sacrifices they
had to make to care for a loved one.
They used to volunteer for causes,
sing in the parish choir, attend daily
Mass during Lent, hold down a full-time
job. Now they take care of a spouse, a
parent, a child with special needs. This
year I have some good news for them
from Pope Francis: Family caregivers
have their priorities straight. They know
what really matters.
You have probably read stories
about the pontiff telephoning “ordinary” people and having a friendly
chat. During the few months since he
was elected pope, there have been a
number of reports of what he has said
-- as cardinal and as pope -- about
caregivers.
The bottom line: You’ve done your
share of respecting and cherishing life.
Our heart’s loneliness for God
By Effie Caldarola, CNS
One of my memories of growing up
on a Midwestern farm is the feel of a
harsh, southern wind blowing on a very
hot day. This recollection conjures up
childhood loneliness, which seemed all
the more real on Sunday afternoon with
no air conditioning, no school and seemingly nothing to do after we changed out
of our church clothes. I created a huge
family of imaginary cousins.
As for real cousins, we were especially close to two. Even after they moved
to the big city, my aunt would often
drive them out to see us. I remember
scanning the horizon for my aunt’s car.
My brothers and I hoped so much for a
visit to relieve Sunday’s monotony that
we would stand at the end of our gravel
lane and watch for dust clouds on the
country roads.
As an adult, I began to appreciate the
luxury of Sundays, of morning Mass followed by relaxation and activities of my
choice. But I still recall painfully those
languid, lost childhood Sunday afternoons spent waiting, actually yearning
for company. The memory makes me
aware of the deep, universal human
yearning for love, companionship,
presence. At the heart of this yearning
lies our longing for God, even when we
don’t realize that God is at the center of
all longing.
Maybe that’s why one of my favorite
psalms has always been Psalm 42: “As
the deer longs for streams of water, so
my soul longs for you, O God.”
I think of last summer’s drought and
what it must have meant for the deer
that populate so many Midwestern
fields. Their longing for water must
have been intense, their joy at a running
stream immense. The psalmist found
the perfect simile for our longing for
God.
In Jesuit Father James Martin’s book,
“My Life with the Saints,” he writes
of Blessed Teresa of Kolkata’s years of
spiritual darkness. After a profound
experience of God that propelled her
to leave the Loreto Sisters and to begin
her ministry to the poor as the founder
of the Missionaries of Charity, Mother
Teresa experienced what Martin terms
“a protracted experience of distance
from God and an extreme ‘dryness’ in
prayer.”
How could this happen to a saint?
13
October 8, 2013
Yet, this “dark night of the soul” is not
unfamiliar to saints. Through this time
of desolation and yearning, the woman
known then as Mother Teresa completely surrendered to God and continued to
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