We recently had the opportunity to sit down for an exclusive interview with a very special guest. Well-known, yet mysterious and misunderstood. Our guest is present everywhere and is a constant topic of conversation in all corners of the world. While a frequent visitor to many, our guest is rarely welcomed, often shunned, but never deterred. Our guest has a knack for showing up unannounced, unwanted, and unwilling to leave. So, what prompted our guest to meet with us for an exclusive interview? A desire to be better understood and to set the record straight.
Q. So good to have you here with us this evening, Pain. Your existence is felt by many, yet few lawyers genuinely appreciate your true nature. Describe yourself.
Pain: It’ s an honor to be here, or to be anywhere, at any time. Consider me a constant companion in human experience. What a privilege to be defined by the International Association for the Study of Pain as“ an unpleasant sensory and emotional experience associated with resembling that which is associated with actual or potential tissue damage.”
I present as“ physical” PAIN while my first cousin presents as“ physical” SUFFERING. Get it? We are NOT twins! Lawyers often insult me by equating me,“ physical pain” with“ physical suffering.” Big difference, pal— and it infuriates me when lawyers lump me in with my buddies— mental pain, mental anguish, and mental suffering. I hang with them, but we aren’ t the same!
Q. You seem so arrogant! Couldn’ t help noticing how giddy you were upon your arrival— not just here tonight, but every time you show up.
Pain: You got that, man! I come from nowhere and everywhere! But if you dig and investigate, you will find my source … My how and my why of my creation. I come in multiple forms: acute, chronic, dull, sharp, pounding, and piercing. Good news— I am an alarm, a warning signal. Bad news— I am a tormenter( and I love it)! I was born to serve as a reminder of vulnerability. My great joy is when I become a prison and prey on one who is helpless … I will not allow an escape.
Q. Pain, when you look in a mirror, what do you see? What do you say?
Pain: Well, counselor— you call me Pain, but who am I really? What am I? Disrespect me and I will wreak havoc upon your daily routines and ways! Ignore me and I will destroy you! Ridicule me and you will wither away! Shun me and you will learn the true meaning of revenge. I am PAIN! Think not of me as a fleeting sensation or a mere emotion or feeling. I am REAL and STRONG and OVERPOWERING, and I can own the very essence of your life, your heart and your soul. I am an experience which encompasses the vast spectrum of humanity. I am the sharp sting of a paper cut, the relentless moan of depression … The never-ending ache of a broken heart … The gut-wrenching sorrow of loss of a loved one. Yes— that is me! PAIN! SUFFER- ING! ANGUISH! I define myself as I extract joy, peacefulness, deep sleep and harmony from the lives I choose to visit. I am physical! I am emotional! I strive to never be tardy or absent, for it is my presence keeping me alive and energized within others, always within others. I manifest in different forms and intensities- how I want- when I want and where I want! I often appear acutely with a massive jolt mandating attention, or I may appear chronically burdening you with a lingering shadow which follows you life-long. I AM PAIN!
Q. As personal injury lawyers representing clients with severe and permanent injuries, how might you explain to us the ways in which you insert yourself into the lives of our clients?
Pain: I am the ultimate uninvited guest! I dictate when I arrive and how I arrive and what I will do once I arrive! You need to understand that. I make the decisions as to my actions and choices and I manipulate in every way possible to force your clients to recalibrate their lives around ME! Consider me a disrupter of life and sleep and relationships and the most simple of pleasures. Modern day social media“ influencers have nothing on me” as I influence in a way that can be debilitating. The good news for your clients is that it is me— yes me— PAIN— which will often motivate and inspire resilience and adjustment and adaptation of and from your clients.
Q. What’ s it like to be a professional stalker?
Pain: Coolest job in the world. I’ m invisible, which is a big advantage. You won’ t see me, but I’ m there. I’ m always watching, lurking, and waiting. When I’ m ready, I’ ll pounce, usually at the worst possible time for you. And when I show up, you won’ t know how long I’ m staying or what I plan to do next. I love the element of surprise. You really should see the looks on people’ s faces when I show up— they can be quite amusing.
Q. We hear lawyers— and even physicians and other health-care providers— who often lump“ pain” and“ suffering” together. There seems to be a clear school of thought among most lawyers and physicians— that“ physical pain” and“ physical suffering” are one and the same. Likewise, those who adhere to the same school of thought have an understanding that“ mental anguish,”“ mental pain” and“ mental suffering” are each one and the same. PAIN— are you the same thing when talking about“ physical pain” and“ physical suffering.”
Pain: I am not trying to insult you— but did you do any research before coming in here and interviewing me? Such a thought process is unfounded and basically nonsensical!“ Physical pain” differs vastly from“ physical suffering.” Listen carefully: I am physical pain. This means that I am the“ unpleasant sensory experience” a person feels or realizes when I burst on to the scene. I— physical pain— am the equivalent of an alarm signal inside of your nervous system telling you that something may be wrong!“ Physical pain” is an unpleasant bodily sensation or a complexity of sensations causing physical discomfort, a prick, a tingle, a sting, a burn, an ache. When you think of me— PAIN— think of a“ physical” sensation! It is because of me—“ physical pain”— that often a person experiences“ physical suffering.”
The Trial Lawyer 27