The Spotlight issue 1 The Spotlight Magazine Fall /Winter 2014 | Page 9

Principle #4: Communicate with your family.

Don’t let family stresses stress out your relationship. Of course family is important. And it’s important to honor parents and siblings, not to mention tradition and inherited rituals and customs. But your romantic relationship is a priority as well. And depending on exactly how serious the relationship is, you may need to explain to your family that you want to do things a bit differently this year. Obviously, it’s best if you convey how important your partner is in a way that’s kind and respectful to your family. But even if they don’t understand, there may come a time when you have to make a decision to go your own way, even if it means missing the New Year’s Eve service you’ve always attended in the past.

In the end, it’s all about finding a healthy balance or, to be more precise, finding healthy balances. It’s great that you want to be true to your family, to your partner, and to yourself. But as you probably already know, that’s not easy to do.

So, consider your own desires, along with how important your relationship is to you—what kind of vote should it cast? Then talk through your options with your respective families. After you and your partner have weighed the desires of as many people as you can, make a decision together. It will probably require compromise, sacrifice, and conflict resolution, but remember that the holidays are about being with the people we love. The important thing is to find a way to make your holidays together as meaningful as possible.

And The Holidays

http://www.eharmony.com/dating-advice/relationships/the-holidays-her-family-or-his/#.VFWvx_nF-So