Principle #1: Let the relationship vote.
When you two are having trouble making a good and fair decision on an issue like this, keep in mind that there are three votes to be considered: one for you, one for your partner, and one for the relationship. You should each get a chance to make a case for your own position, but then make sure that your relationship also gets a vote—and this vote breaks the tie. By doing this, you’ll emphasize the fact that you’re on the same team and that your commitment to each other is more important than your individual agendas.
Principle #2: Consider the context.
Fairness is a great principle to work from in situations like this. But sometimes, being fair means not taking turns. For example, do you live closer to her family and spend time with them on a regular basis? Then maybe his family gets more time on holidays. Or have you spent more time with his side of the family during past holidays? Then make a decision that lets you get to know her side equally well. The point here is that you want to consider as much of the context as possible. Don’t limit yourselves to simply asking, “Whose family were we with last Thanksgiving?” Instead, ask which option makes the most sense, considering your current situation.
And The Holidays