The Soultown! Volume IV: Issue 1 JANUARY 2020 | Page 31
The Sankofa Vow
THE SOULTOWN, USA - Readers beware!
If you are ACTIVELY parenting adult
children, please read now!
If you are an adult child still asking for your
parents’ help, please read now!
Parenting adult children has to be the
most stressful, thankless job in the history of
employment. Some young adults have never
balanced a checkbook, paid their own bills on
time, or take responsibility for their actions.
Some lack patience, fail to make critical
decisions -- without a well-thought-out plan --
and if the words “thank you” spews from their
lips -- it is with little sincerity. If this is you or
you know someone like this, continue reading.
Some young adults are considered the
“good kids”. They have never pushed back on
their parents’ decisions, never mismanaged
finances, or had sex outside of marriage.
These good kids are completely responsible,
always grateful, and would never yell with a
disrespectful tone or utter profane comments
at their parents.
Honestly, who are either of these kids?
Today’s young people are seemingly governed
by a cosmic duality; sets of two opposing and
complementing principles being observed in
nature.
But who cares? While in the midst of
parenting, parents should shift their focus to
the root of the problem. Parents should ask
themselves the right questions and parents
should be open to using tools to help adapt,
survive, and live. That’s it and that’s all.
Welcome to the 1st Sankofa Vow of the
new decade! No more kids gloves, this is the
real, this is the raw and the rest is up to you
-- it is up to US!
Tool #1: Is the stress I feel -- parenting
my child(ren) -- my Karma?
Karma is the philosophy of the Buddhist --
the sum of a person’s actions in current and
past states of existence the cause of their fate
in current and future existences. Don’t lie to
yourself, ask yourself … “Self … is the stress
I endure while parenting my adult children my
Karma?”
If the answer is yes, accept it and proceed.
Tool #2: Did I raise this child or children
alone?
Hold on, before you get on a soapbox
and rehash all the struggles getting them to
the cotillion, paying for SATs, all the dolls,
perfumes and pairs of Jordans, ask yourself
did extended family help? Did your children
spend time with maternal and paternal aunts,
uncles, grandparents, and cousins? Were
there close friends that assisted in advice,
financial support, or love? If the answer to
these questions is yes, then relieve yourselves
of the guilt you may feel. You did not raise this
child or children alone. Proceed.
Tool #3: Does this child or children fully
understand what it means to sacrifice?
The true definition of sacrifice is
surrendering a possession as an offering
to God or a divine or supernatural figure.
However, most of our children have NOT,
and I’m leaning more towards if our children
know what it means to sacrifice and have they
given up something, for the sake of a better
cause? Don’t get weak on me now. It’s natural
for us to want more for our children than we
had ourselves, but at what cost? If you are
anything like me, you have worked tirelessly
to become a good provider. You have become
mild-mannered, and have a host of friends
that will agree with you. You intentionally avoid
burning bridges professionally and personally.
Here’s the big one, you have demonstrated
time and time again how and when to take one
for the team. In this case, the team is family
-- immediate and extended.
If the answer to these questions is yes,
then you have all rights in the world to begin
parenting from a distance with command!
Proceed.
It’s easy. Let’s begin together.
Treat your adult child(ren) just like they treat
you. Reciprocating behaviors is a practical
exhibition and offers a clear explanation when
the results are not to their liking.
Ask them to share their weekly,
monthly or quarterly financial plan.
If they fail to plan, then they have accepted
the notion that they are planning to fail. If
they choose NOT to share, then let them fail.
That which doesn’t kill them will make them
stronger.
Teach the power of prayer. Our Creator will
NOT just give endlessly. Faith without works is
dead. Our children must understand grinding
isn’t forever, but it is for NOW!
Unfortunately, parenting adult children is
the most stressful, thankless, job in the history
of employment. However, I am committed to
creating and using tools that help me, to help
us adapt, survive and live. Holla if you hear
me! That’s it and that’s all!
The Sankofa Vow is The Soultown’s promise
to our ancestors; to return to the Motherland
and retrieve what has been stolen from our
ancestry via the trans-Atlantic slave trade.
Our forefathers intended to leave seeds for us
to return to gather, plant, cultivate and grow.
These seeds can be reclaimed and retained
by reading, watching, and discussing with
our elders and also by traveling to our
native continent of Africa, the Motherland.
I am Chillin’, Innovative Extraordinaire
for The Soultown International Magazine.
I’d like to thank the parents of adult children
for having SOUL! ,
Learn more about the Sankofa Vow at
thesoultown.com
Email me:
[email protected]
Jan. 2020 • Immortalizing Our Stories to Implore Positive Progress In Our Communities • thesoultown.com
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