The ceremony began with the Shinto purification ritual known as, “Shinzen kekkon,” literally meaning “wedding before the kami." This involved the exchange of sake between the couple before they were actually married. The Shinto priest stood to the right of the altar, while a shrine maiden, known as a Miko, representing a Shinto female attendant to the gods, stood on the left. The couple took their place in the centre of the room, with the closest family members standing behind tables holding decorative urns of sake and small fruits.
The priest purified the shrine and then called out to the benevolent spirits, or kami. He announced the beginning of the “san-san-ku-do” ceremony or "three-three-nine-times," in which three oaths taken three times. Three cups of sake were poured three times, and swallowed in three sips. The sake aspect of the ceremony is core to a Shinto wedding and the ritual is said to have originated at samurai weddings. While many theories exist about the significance of the number three, its definitive origin remains unknown due to the age of the tradition. Yukiko’s family later elaborated that the ritual is meant to represent a life of sharing joys and sorrows as a married couple.
The couple gracefully approached the altar, and then Tetsuko said his vows while Yukiko listened attentively. Their “nakodo,” or matchmaker was thanked during the vows. For centuries, the Japanese have used matchmakers to ensure the perfect pairing of sons and daughters. This practice still exists today, albeit far less prevalent. Following this, the family members joined in and drank sake while shouting, "kampai," meaning cheers in Japanese.
In the final stage, the priest offered Japanese evergreen to the altar, symbolizing gratitude to the spirits who blessed the marriage. The bride and groom made an offering to one another, followed by their respective fathers making an offering to each family. The wedding rings were presented which was followed by a sacred dance performed by the miko. The ceremony ended with an offering of “tamagushi,” a sacred branch and the ritual sharing of sake by everyone present.
After the Shinto ceremony, we moved to a lavish reception hall for the celebratory meal. The bride and groom were whisked off to change their clothes. Tetsuko wore a suit and tie, while Yukiko changed her hair, make-up, and kimono. Her second kimono was breathtaking, with its elaborate design and vibrant colors. We ate a traditional Japanese meal consisting of rice, fish, sushi, and pickles while seated in a “tatami” room with the head table seating only the bride and groom looking over the party.
All in all, this special day was a unique wedding experience compared to the many North American weddings I have attended in the past. The wedding with all its rituals, steeped in ancient Shinto tradition was a fascinating cultural experience!
If you are fortunate enough to ever be invited to a Japanese Shinto-style wedding, go. It’s a cultural experience you’ll never forget. Even if you’re not fluent in Japanese, a Shinto wedding is a truly memorable experience and one you can only have in Japan.
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