The Score Magazine October 2019 | Page 32

MEGHAN KHARSYNRAP Performance Anxiety? THE STAGE DOESN’T BITE! In 2013 at an iHeartRadio Concert at New York, Jonathan Knight of New Kids On The Block walked off the stage after he was unable to sing the words of his solo in song “Survive You” from their album 10. That day fans were also met with an apology from Knight on twitter. Knight has an interesting history with performance. He left the band in 1994 to live a reclusive life for 3 years. He then pursued a career in real estate and became immensely successful. He only reunited with the band in 2008. Knight is generally outspoken about his anxiety. He has talked about his panic attacks on stage extensively on Oprah as well as the genetic history of his anxiety. This feeling is relatable in several musical circles but also outside it. Sometimes performing on stage can be debilitating. It’s not the incidental excitement or the nerves before a gig that really bothers people. It’s the exhausting process of constant fear many weeks before a performance. Then finally, during the performance, the exhaustion of constantly evaluating ones musical value in real time. It makes a person self critical. I personally am always looking for some mistake even after a good performance. Some musicians never feel satisfied with the performance and this could be the bane of the performer. The American Psychiatric Association states that performance anxiety is a subtype of social anxiety disorder (SAD). If a person suffers from persistent fear for 6 or more months and it affects their lifestyle- socially, at work or in general then they’re likely to have SAD. 30 The Score Magazine highonscore.com It’s crazy how many idols suffer from music performance anxiety. There’s Eddie Van Halen, Adele, Brian Wilson of the Beach Boys, Lorde and even Ozzy Osbourne. Sometimes it takes just one accident that could make you feel performance anxiety for life like with Barbara Streisand. In 1967 at a Concert in Central Park, New York, Barbra Streisand couldn’t recollect the lyrics of her song. Soon after she developed Music Performance Anxiety and left the stage for 27 years. So I asked a couple of local artists from Mumbai how they felt about performing on stage. Brothers, Joshua and Samuel Sinate told me that performing for them was always fun and effortless. They enjoy both the music and the interaction from the crowd. Joshua tells me that he’s never based how good a performance is depending on the audience’s reaction because when he plays classical music the audience is generally quiet and they’re more active when he plays fun gigs. So he’s never felt the need to overanalyse them. Both musicians also feel like any nerves they have about a performance can be countered with practice. Avneesh from Bombay Bandook also had a positive outlook to performing. He tells me he tries not to be to critical of himself after his performance. It’s okay to have days when you’re off, you can just bounce back. So why do only some musicians experience such performance anxiety? There could be many factors involved. It could start from a traumatic experience like with Barbara Streisand or genetic like with Knight. It could be a foundational problem, a developmental problem or a problem owing to self esteem. For some Musicians a bad performance holds a lot of weight. It could make them feel like quitting their passion because they think they’ll probably never get better. One small mistake could make them feel like they ruined their performance not only for themselves but for their band and that they don’t deserve to be in it. Some anxiety is always healthy and normal before a performance but in excess can prove to be toxic. Fortunately today, there are many ways to help yourself achieve calm before the performance from psycho/talk/cognitive behavior therapy to other medication. But change can only start when the anxiety ridden musician seeks for it.