Few of us have one family member with all of the qualities needed to be both a
competent and sympathetic executor, but two together are more likely to have
those qualities. Similarly, few think that their families will fall out, yet somehow we
all know plenty of examples where that has happened. Further, it can be hardest of
all to address what happens if your chosen executor cannot or will not act, perhaps
because they have not survived, or have lost mental capacity, or moved abroad, or
simply feel it is too much for them to do.
For any but the simplest of estates, one of the best ways to ensure all goes smoothly
and to avoid disputes is to choose multiple executors/trustees, and to consider a
professional executor who is detached from the family.
The solicitor you have entrusted to advise you should have a detailed knowledge of
your circumstances and any complicating factors, a clear picture of your assets, a full
understanding of your intentions, and will have detailed and up-to-date knowledge
of the legal and tax issues which will arise.
Like your executor, you must pick your advisor carefully. Get that right, and they
should spend time just getting to know you, your family and your wishes. Then
between them you should find your executors can be better together.