3 STEPS TO HELP A CHILD WITH LYING
Biblical Insights for Helping a Child with Lying
By Ginger Hubbard
Why do children lie ? For that matter , why do adults lie ? They exaggerate details in their favor , twist the truth to make themselves look good , and hide facts to protect their guilt . No matter the form , adults lie because they love themselves and want to protect themselves at all costs . Children are no different . Like adults , they will even deny the obvious to save face and avoid consequences .
Lying shows a lack of love for God and a lack of trust that He is in control . When people lie , they are trying to control another person ’ s response or change the natural outcome of a situation . Instead of trusting God , they try to make things turn out in ways that are best for themselves .
We also try to make the sin of lying sound less bad by calling a small lie a fib , a big lie a doozie , and a “ necessary ” lie white . These words make lying seem less wrong in our minds , but all lying is wrong to God . In fact , it is so wrong that God says it is one of the seven things He hates ( see Prov . 6:16 – 19 ).
God also hates lying because it hurts family relationships . Relationships are built on trust . When we lie , it breaks trust in the relationship . This is why Paul says , “ Do not lie to each other ” ( Col . 3:9 ) and why he tells us to “ speak truthfully ” ( Eph . 4:25 ). God wants to make us more like Him , and He wants families to love , trust , and stay close to one another . This is why He talks about being truthful a lot in the Bible .
Step 1 : Ask Heart-Probing Questions
Asking questions helps your child take ownership of the sin in her heart , which will help her recognize her need for Jesus .
Help her understand that she is trying to control the outcome rather than trusting God when she lies . You might ask , “ Who is the Father of truth who is in control of all things ? When you lie , are you trusting in yourself or God ? Do you think lying honors God or your family ?”
These questions will help her begin thinking about what ’ s right and wrong and what does and does not please God , even if she does not answer .
Step 2 : Reprove Your Child for Lying
Don ’ t overdo your reproof . Gently explain how lying hurts family relationships and how God hates a lying tongue . You might say , “ Not only does God hate lying because it dishonors Him , but family relationships are built on trust . When you lie , it breaks trust in our relationship . It is important that we keep trust in our relationship and honor God by being truthful . The Bible says that one of the seven things God hates is lying . Being truthful reflects the trustworthy character of God .”
Step 3 : Train Your Child to Speak Truth
You might say , “ In Proverbs , we are told that ‘ the Lord delights in those who are truthful ’” ( Prov . 12:22 ). Instead of lying , what should you have said that would have been truthful ?” Having your child practice telling the truth is training him or her in what is right rather than just punishing them for wrong .
32 THE RENEWANATION REVIEW