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“ Our sin does not begin with our mouths ; it begins with our hearts .”
inside of us , and it starts sooner than we might think . King David proclaimed , “ Surely I was sinful at birth , sinful from the time my mother conceived me ” ( Ps . 51:5 ). When parents truly grasp the origin of sin and the total depravity of man , we no longer question why our children sin .
I slowly learned to quit asking , “ Why does my child sin ?” and began to ask myself , “ When my child sins , how might I point him to the fact that he is a sinner in need of a savior ? How might I help him understand and live in the power of the gospel ?”
Through much prayer and searching the Bible , I found that having a three-step plan of action for getting to the heart of behavior , reproving children biblically , and training children in righteousness can make a positive difference in how we respond to a child ’ s need for correction .
STEP 3 : TRAINING YOUR CHILD IN RIGHTEOUSNESS
It is never enough to tell kids what not to do ; we must teach them what to do . In the book of Ephesians , we are told to “ put off the old self , which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires ; to be made new in the attitude of [ our ] minds ; and to put on the new self , created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness ” ( 4:22 ). Teaching children to “ put off ” wrong behavior comes naturally for parents , mainly because we find wrong behavior unpleasant , but the key to successful parenting is found in training them in righteousness . It is equally important , if not more important , that we teach our kids what to put on when we tell them what to put off . This is what training them to walk in the righteousness of Christ is all about . ■
STEP 1 : GETTING TO THE HEART OF BEHAVIOR
A wise parent will learn to move beyond the words of her child by addressing the issues of the heart . After all , if the heart is reached , the behavior will take care of itself . Jesus set the ultimate example for how to probe the heart of another in order to draw out what lies within . When dealing with sinners , Jesus did not shake His finger at their faces and tell them what they were doing wrong . Instead , He would ask thought-provoking questions in such a way that the person to whom He was talking had to take his focus off of the circumstances around him and onto the sin in his own heart . Heart-probing questions cause children to evaluate themselves , which helps them recognize their need for Christ .
STEP 2 : REPROVING YOUR CHILD BIBLICALLY
In Matthew 18:15 , God commands that we reprove those who are caught in sin . A biblical reproof exposes wrong by shedding light where there is darkness . Fortunately , God has faithfully provided us with all that we need to speak wisdom and truth into the hearts of our children . We need not look any further than the infallible Word of God . Once we have determined the issue of the heart that drives the outward behavior , we can then address the offense in accordance with Scripture .
If you would like to know more about how to reach beyond the behaviors of tongue-related struggles — such as lying , tattling , and whining — to address your child ’ s heart , check out Ginger ’ s book , I Can ’ t Believe You Just Said That ! at GingerHubbard . com .
Ginger Hubbard , bestselling author of Don ’ t Make Me Count to Three , Wise Words for Moms , and I Can ’ t Believe You Just Said That , speaks at women ’ s events , parenting conferences , and homeschool conventions and co-hosts the Parenting with Ginger Hubbard podcast . Visit her website at GingerHubbard . com .
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