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EFF AND JESSICA sat in my office, clearly distraught.
“Our four-year-old runs our home,” Jeff said, “and we
don’t know what to do. We’ve tried everything: positive
reinforcement, ignoring bad behavior, rewards, threats,
timeouts, and lots of love. Nothing seems to work.”
Tears welled up in Jessica’s eyes as she recalled an inci-
dent that had become routine in their home. “It started as
a simple trip to the store to get milk and eggs but ended
as another parenting battle. I told Ethan to shut off the
television and get his shoes on. Ethan was watching one
of his favorite cartoons and ignored me.” Jessica cracked a
smile, “Sometimes, I wonder if he has a hearing problem,
but I had a few things to get ready before leaving, so I didn’t
press the issue.”
Jessica continued, “After a few minutes, I poked my
head into the living room and said, ‘Come on, Ethan. It’s
time to go.’ Ethan half-heartedly responded and told me,
‘Not yet mom. The show isn’t over.’ I could feel the frustra-
tion growing, and this time, my voice grew louder as well.
‘Ethan, let’s go!’”
vihill
By Dr. Josh Mul
E
“I waited a few moments to see if Ethan would respond,
but it became obvious he had no intention of getting up.
At this point,” Jessica admitted, “I snapped. ‘ETHAN!’ That
got his attention, and he got up slowly, inched his way
to the television, and took in every last second he could.
When he reached the television, the pleading began.”
“Ethan begged, ‘But mom, can’t we wait until the show is
over? It won’t take long. Please, mom.’ I was so frustrated
and told Ethan, ‘No! We have to pick up milk and eggs so
we can make your sister a birthday cake before she gets
home from school today.’ Ethan just kept pushing, ‘But
mom. Please, mom.’ At this, I yelled, ‘ETHAN! I TOLD
YOU TO GET YOUR SHOES ON! SHUT THE TV OFF!’”
“Ethan knew I meant it this time, but his pleading turned
to defiance. He shut off the television and complained all
the way to the back door. With his shoes in hand, he start-
ed to cry. It wasn’t a sad cry. It was a mad cry. It was an
ear-piercing, neighbors-can-hear-it-through-the-wall cry.
And it turned into a full-blown temper tantrum complete
with kicking and screaming as Ethan thrashed on the floor.”
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