The Redemption of a Porn Star, Mr. Marcus in his own words... April 2015 | Seite 11

FiRST DESiRES

A MESSAGE FOR LIVING YOUR BEST LIFE EVER

LAY IT DOWN
a poem by Vondria Walters

Here I Thought we could lay down the pain tonight.
Fuck away our flashbacks to a land not too far off in the distance
Mounting my frame, with no intentions of keeping these images safe,
You’ve implanted in my safe
Lying exposed by your pleasure, paralyzed by my shame
But there’s something ‘bout the stank ass’ness of anger & aggression between the sheets and in the air, the makings of a “real
good fuck!”
So we went ahead and left that ol’ “badge of honor” out back
with the rest of them, cause around these parts,
we got nothing but painful pussies pulsating.
And low and behold,
festering in feces of pain emerges that “real live” mother fucker.
Felt from the bellows of womb of Great, Great, Great Grandma...
visions of her screams run rampant through my core.
Only to show up again in my addictions.
Randomly... I remember
kneeling in a heavenly surrender
Then the squatting, the pushing out babies, my seat of creation,
creating civilizations,
majestically, so masterful...
Massa had to get his cup full of sum of dat “bubbling brown
suga”.
He’d laugh it off,
then snatched it up in a twinkle
Surprised like a peek-a-boo played in broad daylight
That sadistic fuck let it be known...
Play time got knocked out the park a long time ago,
Still I seek refuge in eyes that look a lot like mine,
my body lays limp, through swollen eyelids, I cry.
All while playing connect-the-dots in the heavenly sky.
Over stretched out legs trace the horizon, with each forceful
trust, whaling out the cries for freedom.
Followed by a, “shut da fuck up”, “you better not tell nobody”
muffled whispers coming from the back room,
Often haunted by echoes of garbled screams I presume.
But it’s me that seeks the forgiveness tonight.
So, Fuck me Senseless ... heal the scars etched
within the crevasses of my walls.

Feed my sorrows, mother fuck all my tomorrows,
with every deep thrust give me life, full of fury.
Give me something I can feel, without guilt, without jury.
Pierce my soul,
numb me if you will...
Cause, for