2 . Face your fears
We cannot simply talk ourselves out of our fears , they are something we need to confront to overcome . Scientists suggest repeatedly exposing yourself to the thing that scares you , in small doses . So , if you are putting off Estate planning because you are terrified of dying for fear of what will happen to your kids , take a minute to reconsider . By avoiding this process you are actually putting your children at a disadvantage .
Having a Will protects your children , no matter how old they are . And , if they are under 18 , you are also able to determine who you trust enough to raise them . Estate planning allows you to streamline the process of inheritance , allowing your money to be placed with an investment house for minor beneficiaries , for example , in order to maximise capital growth and minimise any red tape . So , if you are scared of what will become of your family , confronting your fear of death and drafting your Will is actually the best way to ensure they are cared for , both emotionally and materially .
3 . Have self-compassion
Let yourself off the hook . It is ok to be overwhelmed by your emotions while drafting documents for your death . Whether you are berating yourself for leaving someone out of your Will , or you are second-guessing the division of your Estate , tell yourself that you are doing the best you can .
Often the judgements that harm us the most are our own . Yet , it is not only others we need to support through hard times , we need to show the same compassion to ourselves . Experts suggest taking the following steps when you are feeling overwhelmed by pain or stress :
• Take note of your feelings .
• Acknowledge that you are not alone .
• Be kind to yourself .
4 . Meditate
Meditating is a great way to focus on the here and now and silence the noise that complicates decision-making . Regrets are part of human nature , as is anxiety about what could go wrong . This is especially true when we are planning for a future in which we are no longer around . The ability to pause and simply focus on the here and now is a powerful resilience tool and can help clear our minds as we focus on estate planning . Simplifying our thoughts can also help to keep our final wishes clear and simple .
By practising mindfulness , we immerse ourselves in the present moment through deep breathing and meditation . Emotional struggles often manifest as physical ones . Therefore , one meditation method is the ‘ body scan ’ where we focus on each part of our bodies in turn and let go of each area of tension . By uncovering the causes of our tension , we can better reflect on which relationships bring us stress and which we need to work on improving .
5 . Forgive
If you are harbouring a grudge over a wrong a loved one committed , reaching a place of forgiveness is paramount . As we contemplate our deaths , forgiveness is something that comes to the fore . How can we adequately plan what to leave our loved ones if we are fostering resentment towards them ? And how can we find peace within ourselves if we are haunted by the past ? There are various forgiveness practices but ultimately , they are rooted in :
• Acknowledging what happened and how it made you feel .
• Making a conscious commitment to forgive if only for the sake of your own wellbeing .
• Finding an opportunity to grow through the experience .
Whether or not you trust the person to be part of your Will , just knowing that you have let go of any ill will you hold , will help you to cultivate a more measured Last Will and Testament .
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